I have known C for about 6 years. He and I dated when we were freshmen in high school and broke up after about 8 months. (I broke up with him, I don't think at the time I was ready for anything serious and I felt that with him it would turn into exactly that) We decided we were better friends. We stayed friends for a year or so and then he switched schools and I had move the year after that. We quit talking at this point and both went our separate ways. Just recently two years ago I moved back and he and I have been hanging out a lot since. When I first moved back I lived with my Bf of the time (B) and after B and I broke up, C and I were at it again, not dating, just messing around, enjoying each others company. I missed him. and I know he missed me. After a month or so he found a girl and I found a guy so naturally we stopped our encounters and continued on being best friends. Over the last year I have slowly began to realize that I think about him almost every day. My Bf (R) and I live together in my apartment. I have only known R for 5 months, but I love him, not like I love C though and that is what scares me. R is someone who you learn to love, the little things make your heart skip a beat and you don't want to be without him. C on the other hand never leaves my mind.... not even when I am with R..... I feel like I'm cheating on him with my heart and honestly it hurts, a lot. I can't control it. I've tried not talking to C, not hanging out with him, not talking to anyone he talks to so I didn't have to hear about him. But I always end up talking to him again, He is my best friend after all. I can't go another 3 years without talking to him again. It hurt too much the first time. I thought maybe it was just me wanting to hang out with my best friend again and chill. Then I realized that that isn't it at all, I want to be with C. His brother, sister, and mom already told me that they can see the two of us being together in the long run. And really, I can too. I don't know what to do. I know I love him, but I don't know if its something I should tell him. or just not and let things play out. I do know that I can never Unlove this man though. He took a piece of my heart and gave me a piece of his own to fill that hole, something like that just doesn't go away. But what am I suppose to do, be single my whole life and hope one day he realizes I love him. or find someone who makes me happy, but not someone who could ever compare with C. Or just tell him and possibly make our whole friendship awkward. I just, I'm lost here, I really would appreciate your view/opinion on this whole ordeal. Please and thank you.