I'm 14 and it's been two weeks since I confessed my undying love to my now 20 year old cousin brother. He said he's not serious with anyone and that he'll be with me just to make me happy. I asked him if he liked me and he said yes. I already knew he had another girlfriend, he says that he doesn't like her but is only with her because she loves him (they don't have a physical relationship).
This is my first ever relationship and we made out 2 times and I kinda dry humped him causing him to cum. I really am in love with him, and it kills me to know that he isn't serious and I feel like I'm forcing him to be with me but he says that he likes me and that I'm not forcing him to do anything. I asked him to leave his other girlfriend a few times, today I asked him to leave her again which made him really angry and he was saying that I'm wierd and what's the matter with me etc... He doesn't understand that I feel worthless like this. I have some anxiety and depressive disorders and I tend to think about alot of stuff.. I really love him. I really do, but I don't say that to him cuz he won't say " i love you too" and that'll hurt me..
We have plans to makeout and do some other indecent stuff on Thursday.. He says that I can do what I want with him and he can do the same. I don't mind. I don't. But he doesn't love me. And I love him really bad, I've been keeping my feelings about him to myself for more than 3 years now. I tried to forget him but I can't. And now we're finally together and this is how it is.. I hate to think that I am giving up my body to someone who doesn't even love me.. But I love him so much and I can't say no to him. If he loved me I'd have no problem. And the thing that hurts me the most is that he has another girlfriend and he won't leave her.. I'm not enough for him?.. Please help me and tell me what I should do. I can't talk about this with anyone. Tell me what you'd do in this situation.
Thanks for your help.