I'm not entirely sure, but I've been thinking for the past year now that I will die the following year after I've graduated. May 11th 2012, is the day I graduated from High School. I've spoken to people about it, but they just tell me, "You're not going to die, stop thinking that..." In all honesty, it isn't what I'm thinking exactly, it's how I feel. I do have depression, but this isn't a 'pity party' or a 'emotional breakdown'. It's simple, I do not see myself with a future. My existence feels like it's slipping away, and I feel disconnected from myself. Each day it seems like I'm growing more distant from my surroundings. My future seems black, blank, and like there is nothing there. Some people can see themselves getting a job, finishing college, having a family, but I see nothing. I do not want a job, and it's strange that I have no intentions of having a job. I do not want to go outside anymore, I feel like there is no need to look at places and things when I'm not even myself anymore.
I don't understand what is going on. All I know is that I feel like by May 11th of 2013, will either be my last day to live, or I will have already passed...
