Ok so this is pretty long i apologise in advance. So i ve been in this friedns with benefits situation with sm1 and then I found out that he was also foolin around with my friend(his friend we re in the same social circle) nirmally i wudn t mind but the fact that she s my friend and i see her and him almost everyday kinda makes hard. We ve talked abt this(with the guy) twice now abt hw it mks me feel when he does things to my face, he says he cares and he s nt trying to hurt me and doesn t want to lose what we have blah blah but obviously his actions tell a different story. I m fed up and tired and I don t know how to remove myself from the situation without messing up the whole group dynamic because it s going to tear everyone apart.(i kind of feel like the main reason that i haven t walked away is because i feel like i d be admitting defeat to my friend (the one he s messing with too)) I know it s stupid, i feel stupid even typing this out.He makes me feel worthless and I hate it even though he tries to pretend like he cares.I m at University by the way so i can t exactly avoid them both,we re in the same lectures and everything
Answers (2)
Honestly, this might be hard, but you have to man up, grow a pair and tell him. If you want to date him, tell him that he has to choose between the two of you. Tell him he cant go around with other girls. If he leaves and picks her, then that means he never liked you for who you are as a person in the first place. It means he's only after you for your junk. Considering that he already cheated on you i already suspect such, but id say that you should give him one last chance, and if it happens again, one of the worst things you could do is be scared to break it off. If he does it again, you MUST leave him and find a new guy. You gave him everything, and he just went and banged some random bimbo without giving an ounce of consideration to you.Remember, theres plenty of fish in the sea. Personally, i wouldve dumped him the instant it happened the first time, but, if you truely love him, give him one more chance)
Ok so you say friends with benefits but from
what you are saying it sounds like there maybe feelings involved or otherwise it wouldnt bother you. Obviously you are the only one who knows the answer to that. If feelings -
more than friendship are involved then this whole situation is more complex. If you like each other more than why have you not comitted?
Does your friend know of your situation with this person? If so then maybe you need to talk and clear the air so that it does not affect the dynamics of the group. If they do not know then at some point they will find out and that will be worse so although it may rock the boat you will need to address this if there is any hope of maintaining a friendship.
You should not feel silly about this. I hope you manage to sort this.