I don't know what to do with this long distance relationship?

Question

I started to speaking to her nearly two months ago. I started to fall in love with her instantly, it then turned into me and her having a relationship together. I love her so much, she has been so caring, loving and understanding, she has a beautiful physical appearance but appearance isn't my main focus though. She is all that I have, without her I have nobody or nothing. Although because we're so apart from one another in long distance, arguments have began, it upsets her and its upset me because I hate making her upset.

When I was round at hers I was reading through some particular messages of what she's sent to her friends and because I'm so depressed and I literally cried on her lap one time, she told all her friends what ive said how I cried all over her. I don't feel like I can trust her enough anymore. I asked why she did that and it because she was having a panic attack and didn't know what to do. I don't feel like she tells me the truth about anything anymore. I have to drag it out of her skull to get information. She been seeing her friend today, The next time I'm seeing her is in 10 days.

 Her parents told her said her she isn't aloud to see anyone due to exams but she's aloud to go and see her friend but isn't aloud to see me. I asked could I come with her and she no because she isn't allowed to see me but she's going sleeping round at her friends. I asked her friend if I come round but she said her dogs do not like boys but she has a brother. Like she's obviously not wanting to see me. What coincidence of a lie. 

I don't know what to do anymore, our commitment of speaking has gone down so low, it's like she doesn't even care anymore to speak to me. The first few weeks were amazing, we always spoke never argued now  arguing is apart of us.

Answer

I feel for you, I really do. I had a very similar experience at about the same age as you, at first it's new and fresh and wonderful. You pour your heart and soul into someone else's hands and trust them thinking that the feelings you share will last, well, forever.

Arguments so soon in a relationship mean one or both of you are not ready for the kind of relationship that requires sacrifice and compromise. Reading her messages is not good, she gets the message from this that she can't trust you and you got to see that she shares information with her friends (get over that, they are girls, that's what they do!).

Some of the language you use shows how angry you are ("drag it out of her skull to get information"), this is not the kind of thing that girls respond well to, trust me on that.
You cannot unsay anything in a relationship, if you have said something that hurts her it won't just fade away, blokes talk a lot of mess to each other, but girls take a lot of things to heart. If you have said something hurtful she might have just decided that you are not right for her.

This urgency you feel toward seeing her any time you want to is another issue, she is equal in the relationship, she gets an equal say as to how often she wants to see you. If you have been arguing, reading her messages and now demanding to see her.....
It's not a good place to be, you're freaking her out, she already claimed to have had a panic attack because of your behaviour, learn to read between the lines.

I think what you must do is realize that this relationship has probably already reached it's conclusion, I am genuinely sorry about that.
You're young and trust me on this, you will have many more relationships come and go, yes it hurts, every single time, after you learn the rules and you are mature enough to see your flaws (and theirs!) it will change.

You will meet someone who will make all the others seem like a brief rush of blood to the head and by then be ready, this is all part of growing up, I still feel sad about some of my relationships from that age, looking back I see exactly what the problems were, in time you will too.

Think of it as a bump on the road to happiness, every one of them will hurt but eventually you'll get to where you're going, good luck!

I don't know what to do with this long distance relationship?

Answers (1)