I'm not too sure how to start this off but basically I have two stepchildren. My boyfriend and I just had one of our own but he has two girls from his ex wife. To put it bluntly, I freaking hate this lady. She cheated on my boyfriend when they were married, made his life so miserable that he refuses to marry anyone else and what's worse is she comes by to take the girls only every other weekend. She doesn't pay child support infact she just lives off of her new boyfriend and doesn't contribute to their lives in any way. I understand that I can't change her but how can i change myself not to be so resentful and hate filled towards her? It's becoming a problem for me so much so that I even get upset when the girls talk about her. They say how great she is even though she does nothing for them. I HATE IT!
I can't be the only one going through this, please help
I am an angry stepmom. what can I do to stop?
Responses (3)
Look - those two children are going to like their real mother more than you no matter how hard you try. I'm sorry, but that's fact. Children are more emotionally connected to their biological parents than they are with stepparents. While these children won't feel AS connected to you as they do to this other woman, the child you and your boyfriend had will (of course) like YOU more.
Sorry, I had to get that out for some reason.
Now, onto your issues...
This is common for a woman in your situation. Practically every girlfriend ever hates their boyfriend's ex(es). However, there are a few solutions I recommend trying...
Solution #1: Yoga, Whale music, and other relaxing actions.;
Solution #2: Cooking, or keeping a diary/journal to let out your anger.;
Solution #3: Let it out by talking to close friends about it, or me if you'd like.
Solution #4: Bottle it up for years and never be happy.; (not recommended, ha ha ha)
I hope I helped and didn't make you feel unhappy. I'm merely stating facts and giving you answers.
Uuhh the kids are great. I never talk crap about them.
In fact that's part of the reason i dislike their mom so much, she treats them like trash and they deserve so much better. I'd like to restate that i don't get mad at them i get mad for them. They're too young to know how crappy she is. Tue kids love me and i love them.
As someone who is a stepdaughter. I will always love my mom no matter what she does to me. She will be the one who had me. I will ALWAYS love her. My stepmom hate my mom because of what she has put my dad though. My stepmom has never put my mom down. Just put yourself in your step kids shoes. Know that thats there mom, and when you get mad at them because they say good things about her...stop count to 3 and think before you say.
I hope this helps!!
I definitely NEVER say mean things about their mom or get mad at them i just get mad at her. its just lousy how she's such a deadbeat.When they get older i know they'll realize who was there and who wasn't.
Well I hope that you figure it out
I wouldn't dislike her at all if she treated her children better but thanks for your advice. As a stepchild i know that in some situations the kids prefer their biological parents and some become more fond of the people who actually care. I know when they get older they'll recognize that their mom ditched them for booze and that i was there for them it's just frustrating right now. Whale songs aren't my jam, I have plenty of relaxing hobbies i guess i was just looking for more people in a situation like mine who could tell me what they do or that they can relate.