... and after I fell in love with him I was unable to see attractiveness in men.Every man is just a normal,regular guy to me.Even by today's standarts he is very handsome,he is just normal to me. When I first told how I feel to my husband he said I am the same,I feel the same way,I don't see any other women attractive except you.They don't mean anything to me.Then later on I realized that I notice abnormal things in men.A nose bigger or longer than normal,flap ears,baggy bellies but if very much I recognize it.etc.but when I see them I only think it is not normal,weird.I don't think it is bad or ugly.But I say that there is a normal form of human body and these things I mention are not normal for a human body.For example when I see women in p*rn,They look strange to me because they have huge breasts.It's not normal,It's not the normal size of a breast.I see these things as abnormal. But later I asked questions about it to my husband,and he said to me "it is weird,strange too but sometimes some abnormalities can bother me,sometimes I may think they're ugly or bad but it doesn't mean that I find the others beautiful.I find others normal but abnormality disturbs me sometimes." and he gave an example like that "if you see a man with skin cancer,you don't think it is normal,you see the scars etc and you say "bad" but it doesn't mean that when it is normal it is beautiful,it is normal and you say 'it's OK now,it's good'.This conversation confused me.If he's really like me,find no other one attractive,is it normal to find some abnormal features bad or ugly?He says they're bad and ugly,the others are normal ordinary and you are beautiful.Bu tmy mind doesn't accept this kind of thing.If he only finds me attractive ,he shouldn't call others ugly,he should call all of them normal.It is what my logic accepts so I have trusting issues of what he says.What do you think? I checked the forum and found people who don't feel any kind of aesthetic attraction,but I know my issue is different.I have still aesthetic attraction just changed form,my beauty concept focused on only one person.What do you think? Is it logical what my husband says?
Answers (1)
Hi, Shivamirage. It sounds to me that you get easily disturbed which is normal. It could be a face that your going throw or maybe you don't like change. Most people don't like change because, it takes you out of your comfort zone and forces you to learn something new. Learning something new can easily give you stress or disturbingly irritate you when you don't understand. 2 out of 5 people get along with change. I think you should learn to accept change. Change is good. TO YOUR QUESTION. I believe you need to learn more about the changes that occurs in and outside the human body as it edges. From a mans big belly to a the ugly skin caused by skin cancer, all of that is normal. Your husband is right, most changes ain't beauty to the eye. See it like this. You do not like the music young people listen to but that does not mean its not good music. The music you choose to listen to they don't like. A change in music needed to happen so that all may want to dance. The places you have fun changed from the club to the park were you have your alone time which younger people will one day enjoy. Take two cups of hot coffee to your room, one for you and one for your husband. Listen to him. You never know., you might just learn something new