So I used to loathe my dad and blame everything bad that happened to me on him, and when I got in trouble I tried to blame him every time. I would constantly plot ways on how I could make him feel guilt or to prove him wrong. Now I finally realize that I have been self centered and ignorant the whole time and I was always the problem when I got in trouble. I want to make amends with my father and build a relationship with him again, however it seems that as soon as I started caring about my personal development and our relationship, he has stopped. He now gets ticked off by even the most insignificant mistakes I make (such as not phrasing something properly, or not looking up when someone is talking about something that has to do with me) he brings up things from the past that I did to hurt him and there is nothing I really can do except apologize, but he doesn't accept my apologies. I want to be able to have a good relationship, but it's hard to keep trying because I have no experience with real complex character development that my dad wants me to do, and I can't ask my dad for advice, also it seems there is no way to improve. (What will help repair my relationship is if my dad sees improvement). I'm not really sure what I have to improve, I just know that I need to start looking at myself instead of criticizing others, which is what I do now, but there are so many more things that my dad expects of me.
How to repair my relationship with my father?
- Posted:
- 3+ months ago by Kaplooey
- Topics:
- father, dad, repair, relationship, trouble, everything, bad, relationships
Responses (3)
one thing that I've found is i can say a lot more things on paper than i can in person. maybe you're the same? you could write him a letter about it. about how you want to change and get on better terms with him. make sure you take you time on it and write down everything you want to say. its not an instant fix and nothing will be but at least its a start. hope things get better
Every father in the world have a soften heart to their children and I think you just go to your father and apologize. 1 single word of apologize from a child has great effect to the father and No father in the world want to see his child in trouble.
It is the best way to sort out things.
You need to understand that if the things you blamed him for and made him feel guilty for were purely out of spite and not out of actual truth, he's going to be devastated and he'll probably still be expecting the same thing every time something goes wrong. Sit down with him and tell him you're sorry, but don't just say 'sorry' and expect him to forgive you right away. You need to show him and prove to him that you mean it. Buy him lunch one day or make him breakfast. If someone did the same thing to me I would probably act the same way. It'll take time, but I'm sure if he's stuck around despite it all, he hasn't given up on you. He's your father, he'll always love you. Good luck.