A month ago I broke up with my boyfriend. This is my first relationship. At first he was very involved. Over time I became very paranoid and started to feel insecure because I wanted to be as good as I can for him. I was honest all the time and told him when I felt bad.
We were very different. I am an introvert, he is active and extroverted. Because we had so little in common, I couldn't find enjoyment in his activities and vice-versa. For a while I thought there is something wrong with ME. I made some compromises and tried to be active, but he didn't do the same.
The only thing that went well between us was sex. He was really gentle and patient.
For a while I started feeling he is the right guy and had many expectations. I always ended up being disappointed. He really couldn't make me happy but I kept believing in change. He just became more distant and told me something I found very unfair: That the physical attraction is bigger than the emotional one and he is not sure if he loves me anymore. I told him: I think you are using me as a sexual object, if you say those things. This was the thing that broke it all.
During a lot of alone time, I thought that maybe I was annoying and depressing and could repair what I broke. With my overthinking I rejected him. I was ready to try again, to make it all okay. But he gave up on everything and dumped me.
I feel so damn guilty right now. I think that I didn't appreciate him enough and that I won't find a better guy.