I know it was a long time ago and probably not worth talking about but its really effecting myself esteem. this has also caused me to have social anxiety. is there any clever way or words to say so i dont actually have to say those shamefull words.
How to bring up the subject of sexual abuse to my counsellor?
- Posted:
- 3+ months ago by amychew
- Topics:
- sexual abuse
Responses (1)
When one suffers such acts from an individual, and it effects one to the extent that it affects their quality of life; the act is worth talking about.
There is no easy way to start, these conversations. You shouldn't be ashamed, the individual has made you feel this way, because they have taken your ability to fight, to take control of your life.
If you really cant bring yourself to say the words, you can describe the situation or a story similar to the situation as best as you can, until your counsellor can say the words or understand what has happened to you. Sometimes writing or typing it and handing it over in person, can help without having to blurt the words.
May i suggest something?? Have you though to taking up sing, drama, or dancing lessons?? I have had bad confidence issues, i couldn't deal with confrontation, i couldn't speak to women, i had problems forming relationships with people. I found it hard to express myself. So i took up, Latin and Ballroom dancing, and some drama course as a hobbies, to learn who i was, to learn to enjoy life, build myself esteem. I rebuilt myself to the person i wanted to be. But being human there is always room for improvement.
I hope this has helped. But remember you can make your life amazing.
Nonsense, there is no need to be sorry. I want to apologize if none of my suggestions have helped you in the pursuit of taking control.
Well there are small little steps that you can take, like acting confidant yourself on a daily basis. Take on traits from friends and people you know. Someone you know in your life that if you could have any traits of their personality what would it be?? For example I had this English teacher, he was the coolest guy I have ever known, everyone wanted to know him because he was so chilled out and laid back. Every conversation was effortless, and people just fell in line with him (Note: doing this is not for the faint hearted). Other ways would be to follow a hobby of yours and engage with people who do the same thing in club society, to practice conversation and approaching people in the group. But the reason why I did drama, and classical dancing was because I needed proactive activities, to get me out of my comfort zone. The dancing was used as a way to express myself, and be able to learn how to deal with women, because when I was around women I would tense up and be really shy, and not talk to them. The drama was a way to understand body language, and learn to act out certain emotions and feelings of characters. This took time, over 2 to 3 years.
You could do it indirectly, telling a story. For example, there was this person in starbucks I once knew who……
Another way is to talk about it without using trigger words. Or maybe write down some emotions or find a picture of art or something to best illustrate your problems and feelings, and guide the conversation down what you want to talk about. You can only say so much indirectly before the problem comes to light.
The courage to leap into the abyss can be terrifying; if you have a very close friend (friend you trust and known for years) who you have told this to, ask them to come along for moral support. Their support can be a form of strength to say what needs to be said.
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face….we must do that which we think we cannot” Eleanor Roosevelt
thankyou for replying. I guess i could try something new. Do you have any other ways to build confidence e.g. what you thought to yourself. I know that i should talk to the counsellor as its most likely the cause or my low self esteem and then the cause of my anxiety. How should/could i start off describing what happend? sorry for all these questions just before i tell her what happend i know ill feel very nervous/embarrassed and then not tell her.