My boyfriend of a year and a half is the love of my life. He treats me wonderfully in so many ways, but tonight I was left perplexed and a little disappointed. You see, it was my birthday, and we were getting together with all 7 of our children (ages 6-21) and their girlfriends. It was the first time we would all get together and I was really looking forward to it. But my boyfriend showed up looking sloppy as if he had just rolled out of bed. He is a very neat looking business man during the week, and normally looks great when we get together. So I said to him privately, "Honey, would you like to borrow my hair brush?" and he replied "What are you implying?" I said "Since it's a special occasion, and I thought it would be nice if you combed your hair." He said "I've never seen you like this before." He refused to brush his hair and left me feeling very bad for saying anything about it, as if I was treating him like a child. I apologized, but after the party he acted cold the rest of the evening. Was I being too superficial? I'm concerned about what will happen when he meets my mother and my siblings. It left me feeling as though my family isn't important enough for him to put the effort into looking nice. Should I keep my mouth shut if this happens again?
Answers (1)
No, you should tell him in plain language that you expect him to look presentable, wear clean clothes, shine his shoes, wash his car, and otherwise look like someone who is in the habit of taking care of things.
It sounds to me like he wants to escape the relationship, but doesn't know how.