My mom has always been very strict about dating. She completely flipped out when she found out about my first bf last year. So ive always had to keep my love life a secret, which i hate! Ive been dating this guy now for a couple months and i think she would like him. He's educated, has a good job, and treats me with so much respect. I feel like things are getting pretty serious and i want to tell her about him but im really scared that she's gonna get angry with me. Plus i know she wont accept the fact that im 18 and he's 15 yrs older than me. But i feel like age doesn't matter because he's waaaay different than any other guy I've dated and doesnt want to use me or mistreat me. Plus we have so much in common and get along very well. I know the age thing is gonna be a huge issue for her because she's made agist comments before. and i dont know if i should try to introduce him or stop seeing him before things get too serious and i wont be able to accept any of her oppositions. I know that the longer i wait the harder it's going to be. Any advice on how i could bring this up to her? Is it wrong for me to be dating an older man?I know I'm an adult and can make my own choices but thats not how things work with her. Help?
Responses (4)
Its not wrong but ur mother probz wants whats best for you and I hate to say it too cuz im 18 as well. But.. I think its best not to tell ur mother right now. But ur gonna hav to be extra careful she doesnt find out cuz she wil flip out lol. But yh make sure that he is who u want to be with for all your youth cuz rushing to tell ur mother would result in either getting kicked out or having to break it off witb him , so its best u know for sure before u rush into a decision.
I was In a rationship receny too with a guy older tham me by nrly 10yrs. I founf out he was scamming me for visa but luckily I stopped the relationship before it got too serious an dtold my mum befor I found out so my mym made me stop the relationship early on too.
So id say give it time to know more about him.a and when u make that fjnal chcoice. U should tw her.
hope it helps
Hey!
I suggest you tell your mum, just calm down and take a deep breath, and tell her... but not by phone. Tell her in person then let her meet him so she can accept him. Your mum will have experience and help you with this.
Its not wrong, love is love. If he is mature and nice then date him! If he suddenly wants to do something too grown up that you are not ready for say no. If he trys to force you, dump him and forget him. Older men can be a problem if there too.
To tell your mum, go to her house and have a talk. Slowly bring up dating and tell her that you found someone! Act exited and smiley. If she tells you something that you do not like bring up that you were old enough for dating years ago, and you'd like freedom on dating people. Explain that he is nice and offer for her to meet him and discuss things. If she is just not going along with it, elaborate and discuss it. Do it in a friendly manner, no arguing. Express your emotions, but do not cry and get upset that she says your ''too young'' or anything like that. If things work for her differently just tell her your older now, remind her your not a child anymore. Be serious and just inform her directly. If you understand how she feels, then tell her that! Do not try being persuasive, try being informative and direct. If you try to persuade her, she will figure you out probably. Just be gentle and nice. Explain that you feel shes taking over your love life, and its time she let you fly.
Make sure that you give her time to take it all in, and however it works for her, you have to adjust to or even try and alter it. You need to tell her.
I've had those problems, and i'm like 1 year younger. Its horrible to having to deal with your mum (and my DAD for me) trying to get in your love life. Try to involve them slightly, but not too much. Do not let them take over it, and manage it carefully.
Start to manage your love life, do not let your mum control it! Take charge. Your an adult and you are responsible.
Hope this helps!
Bella x
