Growing up, when my mother was heavily on drugs, my grandmother took responsibility for my siblings and I. But she poured every thought and feeling she had onto me. She dismissed my emotions, and if I expressed my emotions towards her, she would call me disprespectful/talk over me/shame me. I grew up always thinking I was wrong. I feel like I am programmed this way, now. She is not as bad as she used to be, but I still struggle with the memories and though she does not do those things as much anymore, she still has the same mindset that I am supposed to be a "sweet", "innocent" little girl. I am 18, soon to be 19, and all throughout my teenage years, she put me through Hell because of it. I do not love her. I also felt guilt because she has been my source of income. I want to cut those ties with her. I am afraid that she will say something to make me shame myself again. Please help.