I was 14 two days before i turned 15 and i lost my uncle he was the only father figure i had and months prior i lost my grandmother they where the only 2 that made me feel happy they treated me as if i was their own child without them everything feels pointless i go out less and have become less social everyone just gets mad saying to get over it but i cant n i always just feel so frustrated sad with no energy to do absolutely anything help
Responses (1)
How old are now? If you are 15, 16 or 17 then you just had an extended grieving period.
It can kick your foundation out from under you when you lose the person or people who provide encouragement, comfort, safety, caring, nurturing, praise and love...the one/s who you looked at as your hero. You knew deep down it was inevitable but at 14 years old inevitable is defined as never or 100 years from now. I wish it had been longer.
I am not a religious person but one has to find something to cling to when you lose someone you love. If you don't you chance losing yourself.
What I came up with is that there is something on the other side. We get to see our pets and loved ones again. For me it's not heaven and there is no God. It's a new journey. You view it whatever way makes you feel good. But you will see them. When you see them again, you better make sure they have their arms open wide and smiles on their faces.
Do NOT make them sad. Do NOT dishonor their memory. Do NOT make them sorry they wasted 15 years of their lives raising you to wind up being a quitter! They did the best they could for as long as they could. They were 3 years away from sending you out into the world as an adult as a fine happy loving adult so they could sit back and enjoy the result of those labors.
You owe it to them to be the person they were moulding you to be. Get out there and pay it back! Help another kid! Donate some money to a charity they would have liked in their name.
Light a candle and say a prayer, read some poetry, read a book they read to you, play some music they liked and have a private memorial service. Talk to them and tell them you want them to be proud of you and what ever you do in the future will be done in their memory for the years they gave you.
When it comes time for you to transition to the other side for your new journey, make sure you've lived your life in their honor so when they welcome you they can say, "Well done, well done!!"
So get up, get out and find ways to pay it forward and honor them. It's time to get out of your pity puddle.
My deepest condolences on your loss and my best wishes for a very happy future.