I'm 15 and I really struggle to get close to people. I think I'm trying too hard! I am really comfortable with strangers, I'm not shy about meeting people and I have a lot of close friends who I am fine with but the problem is I'm living in another country for a year so I have to make all new ones. I seem to be incapable of just 'being myself' (although I think that's such a stupid phrase because who else could I be?) and I'm always waiting for the other person to do things first. For example, I wait until they hug ME before I know it's okay so I can do it too. How can I overcome this and be more comfortable around people?
How can I feel more comfortable with new people?
- Posted:
- 3+ months ago by overthink...
- Topics:
- people, close, shy, stranger, feel, struggle, friends, uncomfortable
Details:
Responses (2)
It doesn't sound like you're uncomfortable with new people at all. You said "I am really comfortable with strangers, I'm not shy about meeting people...". From what you said, it could just be that you're not sure how to act with people in a different country, which is understandable, since there are different customs and cultural differences. When I travel abroad, I learn the customs of where I'm going, and act as they do.
You can stop it by changing your values. You're too concerned about whether they like you. You should instead be deciding if you like them. In a job interview, you should worry if the interviewer likes you, and try to impress them. For a social relationship, it's about discovering if you two like each other.
I'm not uncomfortable about new people really, it's more when it comes to getting to know them, I'm so worried they won't like me! I guess what I'm really doing is trying not to reveal anything about me they may not like, so I never get closer with anyone. But I don't know how to stop this!