I am in the eight grade and I am a perfectionist. I have aspirations of attending an ivy league school, and am constantly worrying over this. I want to become a psychiatrist despite being fairly socially inept, and I believe I may have unreasonable expectations of myself. I know if I do nothing but work to excell in school and in extracurriculars, I may create a decent application. I have spent my entire life chasing the "satisfaction dragon". If I make honor roll, I ll be happy. Now if I make distinguished honor roll, I ll be happy. If I make NJHS, I will be happy. Now if I manage to have final grades above 95% s, I will finally be happy... my entire life has been like this. I believe the root of my unhappiness is perfectionism, and unless I make a change I will lead a successful but critically undervalued life. How can I learn to be happy? I cannot live with constant anxiety, and suicidal thoughts now come frequently. Though I am well-liked at school, I am still socially inferior due to a neurological disorder resulting in speech comprehension being severly challenged. I feel inferior in nearly every way, and I want to forge a lasting happiness. How do I do this?