... boys and there wasnt a doubt in my mind that i was anything else till.... when i was 13 (year 9) i moved to an all girls school which im still at now.
there is this girl in my year that is STUNNING!! i was friends with her and that was it.
but than i started to get these feelings about there and couldn't stop thinking about her (but not in a sex way yet) so i decided to write her a love letter and put it in her locker when she was in lessons (it didnt have my name on it) so she showed everyone but know one new who it was?
till a girl was listening to music on my phone and found my diary on it and rad it and saw stuff about the letter and told everyone in my year! i was so upset and felt sp awkward but she was still speaking to me thank god! (it was awkward tho)
so yeh time past and i couldnt stop thinking about her and it became sexual (i had never felt this way about a girl and still to this day haven't)
i wanted her attention so badly so i lied to her and said i had cancer (i know messed uo) but i was i love with her and still am! the whole year found out so i got more sh*t!
i started getting really unhappy (to do with other things aswell) this girl would hardly speak to me! i started selfharming and always feeling depressed!(still am) no one understands anything! i get bullied really badly as you could imagine! but i cant stop thinking about this girl and she is breaking my heart!
so what do you guys think i am?
Hi everyone, Im 15 years old and a girl! growing up I have always had boyfriends or crushes on?
- Posted:
- 3+ months ago by corsinie
- Topics:
- school, girl, boy, mind, boyfriend, year, straight, always, growing, moved, boys, schools, girls, old, lesbian, years, bisexual, crushes, self harm
Responses (2)
I think as you're growing up, you are testing your sexuality by allowing yourself to think about same-sex relationships. Many of us go through these kind of phases (although lots of people don't admit it, because it's common to be bullied for our sexuality). This, as you say, is what has happened to you.
I understand how hard you are taking this, and are dealing with heartbreak at the same time. Some of these feelings are just a rite of passage, allowing you to develop and to become an adult.
As for the bullying, it is generally by morons who have the same concerns as you (they probably have the same feelings) but rather than deal with them, they are punishing someone else for what is worrying them. It's not fair and you don't have to take it. I know it's difficult to tell a teacher or parent (I was bullied too and told nobody).
Try to stay strong. You're not alone in this. Lots of us go through it. Nothing lasts forever.
