Help, my stepdaughter is about to be 8. We’ve been living together for about 2 years now and things seem to be getting worse. I have a stepson which is 10 and a biological daughter that is 4. They are doing great with me. The 8 year old although is great when her father is around but is mean to my daughter when he isn’t around as far as keeping her head underwater in the bath tub. She continues to lie all the time and I continue to not tell her dad about things with kicking and screaming when she doesn’t get her way. She says she hates to go with her real mom and I tell her she always needs to respect her and she only wants her dad to love her and not my daughter. I continue to not to tell my husband and I don’t want it to become a me vs her or like I’m hating on a child. She will lie to my husband about my daughter. I’ve tried to spend alone time with my stepdaughter baking muffins or allowing her to have a friend stay the night. Picking up after her, taking her to gymnastics because no one else will/can. I Continue not to tell her father about her behavior. Her mom will tell my husband that she’s a terror with her too but he doesn’t believe it and says if she can’t handle it to give her to us full time. What he doesn’t realize is she’s the same way when he’s not there with me. I love my stepdaughter as if she was my own. My daughter is not perfect and neither is my stepson but they treat me with respect. I don’t know what to do, please help.
Answers (2)
Hello, natalie.
It's quite clear you've been doing your best to earn your children's respect & affection, and I commend you for that - it's far from trivial, let alone as a step parent.
Nonetheless, after 2 years, you must come to acknowledge the limits of your efforts. The girl is violent & deceitful, addicted to attention and insatiable by any measure of it.
I'm presuming your husband does not believe the mother because she's his ex - there's little in the way of describing his personality in your message. You will require his assistance in this matter, as the girl likely needs to be reprimanded to obedience and having her weasel her way through discipline would be counterproductive.