Help! I'm really depressed!?

Question

This may be long, but please take some time to read through this! It's kind of urgent.

My name is Shannon and I'm 12 years old.  I live on an island with 1 shop and has to travel if i want to go shopping for anything esle than food.  I'm not a normal tween and I go through A LOT more than what normal tween's do.  I have a really hard life and I just can't take it anymore, now I am really depressed.  I've been depressed for a while (few years) but I've always sucked it up and tried to get on with life.  Now with the changing of schools following with some bad things happening....my life has been completely destroyed and I'm super depressed.  
It's not just one thing I'm depressed about it's a number of things and they I mean it are really big & a bit hard to solve.  There are 3 main reasons, and then a few other small things that have made me sad.  
I really want some advice about trying to get my life back on track, and some advice about the reasons why I'm so depressed.

REASONS -

Family - The main reason why I am depressed is my family life, I am scared to even go in my own home and if I am there I don't stay there very long.  The reason for that is my step dad, he targets me and makes my life hell.  I'm talking about shouting, swearing, moaning all the time.  Everynight when I'm in my room he stands at my door and swears about me like I cant hear.  He wishes I was never born and I know that.....I've caught videos of him talking about me and I've seen him putting rude gestures at me when he thinks I'm not looking.  It's just not normal family.  I've gotten scared to come in my own house because of him and I will NEVER stay in the house alone with him and not even in the same room anymore.  My mother is the only one I care about in my family.  Usually I stay at my granny and granddads because I can't live with him and I've even said that if he doesn't go I'll move to my granny and granddads.  I'm serious.  
I WANT HIM GONE! so i and my family can be happy!

Horses - For my whole life I've loved horses and nothing I can compare to my love for them, everything I have is horsey....I really want one so badly! More than anything else in the world, because I feel that they can comfort me, that i can tell them anything and they won't judge me.  That I can hug them and cry in their mane and they wouldn't mind.  I feel that riding is something that I will really enjoy and I feel that even the chores I will enjoy and it will give me something to do when I'm bored (I'm bored all the time).
ONE PROBLEM my parents hate horses and won't get me one.  They won't let me have lessons (which i would have to travel to) or even let me near any horse.  This has completely shattered my dreams and yesterday I teared up all my mags and posters and threw away every book of them and thing I have of horses.....and i just feel so sad I can't even have an experience with one.  

School - I have to travel to secondary school.  I have to get up at 5am every morning to go on a boat and then I have to go on a bus and then after school I have to wait for like 1 and a half hours to get on the bus back on the boat and I only get home (aka granny and grandads) at 6:30pm.  I am so tired that I have tea and go straight to sleep - no time to myself.  I get detention at like every class because I didn't do my homework - we'll I don't have time to do my homework....they don't understand.  Nothing more i hate than traveling everyday and the only thing I do every week is school...I really hate school, I am shy, I don't like talking, I hate working in teams, I HATE PE, I hate swimming, I hate tutor groups and social studies.  I wish I was home schooled, but my mom won't do that (in my opion I don't have a dad & my only family is my mom granny and grandad).  I also have NO friends, and to be honest I don't want friends because I can't be bothered with them.....I would rather have a horse.  Everyone is so snobby and I hate everyone.  I also get so stressed with school I get angry and seem to shout out what I think of school and even walk out of the classroom and attempt to run off from school.  I seem to swear to the teacher a lot and say what I think (usually not very nice) and refuse to do things I just get so stressed i do that things even though I don't want to.  School is really hard for me.  


I'm really bored at weekends we'll living on an island with 1 shop and no friends......and no horse :'( its really boring.  The only thing I want to do is have a horse, look after it and go trekking or go beach riding with it every weekend....but i can't so I'm bored.  I just want a horse so much it's unreal!

Can you help me? Give me advice on how I can fix these problems? PLEASE my life is horrible.

Answer

Your okay really. Things I've heard in the past are way worse. Just try to make friends with as many people as you can, and not with the wrong people. Smile and keep your head high. Have a goal. You can do it!

Answer

Babe I'm so sorry to hear your depressed, especially at this age. Ok you might not want to consider this but tell your mom or grandparents to hire a therapist for you, depression can lead to a lot of bad stuff, so you need therapy. And it's good to let people know how you feel, keep doing that, cause if you don't say what you think you'll feel worst, tell your mom how you feel about your step-dad, as YOUR MOM she has to understand tell her to tell your step-dad to stop what he is doing to you. Again say what you think BE YOURSELF

Answer

Listen hun, life is really tough and sucks sometimes. You're really young and should not be going through this, so I'll try and help the best I can. As for your step dad, the best thing there is to do is to tell your mom what he is saying. If she still does nothing, then report him to someone. Someone at school, a police, anyone with authority. Yes, I know you hate school but you're going to have to report him to someone if your mom does nothing about it. So that's that problem. For the horses, I am sorry that they won't let you get one, but that's what parents do. That doesn't mean you can't get one when you're older, but for now you can't have one and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Parents will be parents, sorry. And school. Getting up early is hard and stuff, I would know. But you have to get through it. When you get a job, you are going to have to get up early, if you have kids you bet you will have to get up early. It really is part of life, and I'm sorry about that. Going to bed at 630 is bad for you, sorry to say. But going to bed too early is bad for you. You should arrange a sleeping schedule so that maybe you take a half hour nap when you get home and go to bed at least at nine. So then you have time to do homework. You could also manage to do homework on the boat, and bus. Homework needs to get done, or you will never pass school. I get it that you're shy and that's okay. So try not to talk much, except when you really have to. And a tip, teachers won't usually call on good students, so if you could try and stop swearing at the teachers, and trying to run out. Not everyone at school is snobby, try joining a club net year and see where that takes you. You never know, you could meet your best friends in a club. Yes, school is stressful, but you have to try. Try doing your homework on the nus and the boat, it really can help. Also, try going to bed later, sleeping tends to make people sad. And don't get too upset about the horse, I know it sucks but it will get better. I hope I helped, somewhat.

Answer

Why haven't you left or asked someone for help? Call child services, there is No thing on this earth they can do to you. If they do, bye bye. Time spent behind bars.. It's a terrible place, much worse than you think. Make them understand that you are a human being, and you are a young woman. And that you're not having that. They can't do ANYTHING. Before getting too harsh, find out what a good way for you to do it. I know because I live with someone that attacked me too. Now he's on probation. A man can only say so much and he will try his best to scare you. Don't let him win.

Help! I'm really depressed!?

Responses (5)