The Back Story:
I have been with my husband for 7 years, we have three kids under the age of 4 the most recent one being born 4 months ago, recently my husband has informed me that lost his romantic love for me and has feelings for another woman. He loves being around me (his words) and in fact he is the one that calls and texts me all the time, he finds me physically attractive but he claims to not have that spark we once had and we should end it. We have had our problems in the past. There was always a lack of communication between the two of us. I have had postpartum depression with every single child, this last one being the worst (and I am still suffering through it) and that caused hardships. Our oldest who is three and a half is a very difficult child and we disagree on how to handle him. Also I am a very impulsive person or at least I was and during fights I would threaten to leave or bring up the things that he had done wrong in our relationship. He says that led him to believe two things; number one, that I was just going to up and leave and two that I was the one that was unhappy. Both things causing him to start to question our relationship and eventually fall in love with someone else. Regardless of all that, I think we can still work. We are seeing our pastor, who also does couples counseling and its going horrible because my husband believes that the counselor is on my side. The counseling has been going on for 2 weeks, this week we have off because of the holiday, we have been fighting since the baby was born. I'm just in this place were I can't have this happen. We have three kids, we have a connection that is deeper than I believe he will admit and really I can't handle this until the postpartum is gone.
The Question:
What can I do? Is there anything? Is this completely hopeless? Any thoughts are welcomed.
Heading towards divorce, I don't want it, what should I do?
- Posted:
- 3+ months ago by bubblegum...
- Topics:
- kid, under, year, back, husband, story, born, ages, month, kids, years, divorce, age, postpartum depression
Answers (1)
You both need to sit down and pray about it together.
At the end of the day you have both taken vows. It is up to him if he keeps to them. All you are required to do is obey want your husband thinks is BEST for you and your family and LOVE him.
You are not supposed to be angry or upset or worried. But if you TRUST in your husband then your marriage will be happier.
As for how to raise your children, i will admit if you were disagreeing on it with the first one, two more children weren't going to help the situation. but you cant help that now.
At the end of the day, the bible speaks of discipline for children. That doesn't means beating them with a bat or smacking them with a belt. However i do believe in it. Send them to their room with a bread and water diet for a week - or take away everything in their room for 2 weeks. no contact with friends. Usually does the trick.. My children are extremely obedient and that is because they have learnt that if they cant respect what i am telling them to do, or each other, they are going to have a boring week ahead of them!
As for the Post-natal depression, i hope you have been seeing a counsellor for it. A pastor is great for the marriage, but something as urgent as NPD needs some professional attention.
The "Bread & water for a week" is Child Abuse & CPS will remove a child from your home if gets reported.Bible calls for spanking a child,not physical or emotional abuse.XXXXXX Lady X: try to work it out and have another Baptist counselor involved if needed.Are you being the wife that is according to the Bible? IIs He? The answer is in the Scriptures for both of you.