... do.....basically after a long winded battle with the father of my children we are at a stalemate with him refusing csa payments (long story) and him moving away. For the past year my children have been going with their father to stay there on the Friday and Saturday night only per fortnight. He is now demanding that he will pick them up on a Friday only if I pick the children up on the Sunday. My argument is that during these 2 weeks he doesn't see/speak to the children and doesn't participate in any other areas of their life eg school runs, dentist etc (basically the every day care) he should at least be willing to be responsible for picking and dropping them off, why should I have to do it? There is a massive controlling element in his personality and I think this is the reason also, he also has a company car with free fuel, where as I'm a lone parent although I work have no extra money for petrol etc.. Is it unreasonable that I say no?? All he has to do is 4 singular journeys a month yet wants me to take 2 of them off him?? Grrrr
Answers (2)
He's being an idiot and avoiding spending time with his kids. He's also being very childish and rather pathetically shirking his responsibilities. You have to do the best by your kids and put a brave face on it.
The pathetic thing is that you picking them up makes you look like the meany.. "Oh, no we can't have more ice cream because mummies here to get you..", instead of the responsible thing, "We have to go now, eat up quick and let's get you back to mummies."
What a b*stard!
It is because he still want control of the situation as well I think my mind is made up and if he can't commit to picking them up and dropping them 2 x a month then that's his decision, I have always encouraged access but I'm not agreeing to this, I didn't move away he decided to (only approx 30miles) so it's his problem, thanks for answering :)
I'm not sure if it is control he wants, from what you've said he just comes over as very childish, someone who hasn't grown up or matured yet. I bet he still plays on his Xbox... that kind of bloke, you know? Sad really.
this is how i would handle this go to the child support division in your state and give them his address and his job information they will make him pay child support on their terms or he can go to jail he needs a additude ajustment let them give that to him second tell him no he can bring them and take them on his weekend visits tell him he doesn't have the right to demand things he doesn't pay support do his visitation accordingly it sounds like you could use the support tell him he can't demand and tell you what to do third don't feel one bit sorry for him he likes to whine put a end to it now by filing a court ordered child support asap
That's what's happening at the moment with csa they are dealing with it but cos he is annoyed with me going to them this is why it has been brought up about the travel. I do everything with no help (I'm not complaining) but he should at least pick them up an drop them off that's the very least he could do, thanks for answering :)
Yea that sums it up lol I don't see why I should have to do it, but cannot be bothered with the argument if I say no, I don't know what's more stressful it should be very straightforward!!