Want to know if you think that said person did the right thing ignoring me? Or if you know of a reason why they did. The family member with cancer is my sister. I turned to an old teacher for support was ignored and has been ignoring me since. Live in a small town and hard not to bump into eachother! Do you think i should approach and ask why?
Responses (1)
Definitely ask why, but be prepared for maybe not getting an answer that will turn out for the best, possibly. I wonder if maybe, they are not being rude, but are so uncomfortable with getting involved with another family's problems ( especially one as serious as this ).
They may be ignoring you purely because they are scared to say the wrong thing or feel worried about getting involved in some serious personal grief.
I do think it's a little rude to have flat-out ignored you though, so I don't think that you would not be justified in at least being told as to why they don't want to help.
Don't feel that you are being too forward in needing an answer from your teacher. But also, be prepared for them to decline your asking for help, as sad as that is. Sorry to sound so cynical, but when you are going through such a horrible thing as this, the last thing you need is people on here giving you false hope and then the teacher, in question, lets you down :(
Do you have other people you can turn to, if it turns out that your old teacher won't help ?
No that was my point. I think you are NOT being too forward and that yes SHE should feel awkward because she blanked you. You are not in the wrong here. Just also saying, that the teacher might be feeling that they can't deal with this situation, so might be trying to avoid talking to you. Which i think is a little unfair on you, because blanking you is NOT the way to treat you at this moment in time.
Ok I understand what you are saying. Should I approach this teacher and apoligise for texting them? Or maybe there's a boundary thing! Where teacher's can't talk to past pupils. But my aunty is a teacher and she said that me being an adult and texting them shouldn't be a problem. So do I need to apoligise?
I don't think you have anything to apologise for to be fair to you. Maybe the best course of action, if you have the option, is to let it go and find someone who you can get support from.
Maybe my answer is disappointing and i apologise if it isn't very helpful, but at a time like this, when you are probably hurting a lot inside, you need to not compound your sadness by having to deal with an awkward situation like this.
Perhaps, leave it a while before talking to your old teacher about this ? I really hope that you can find someone close to you that can help you understand how you are feeling. It still is a shame that the teacher has ignored you of course, but please do not spend too long thinking about why this has happened. It will be time better spent, thinking about your family.
It is easy for me to say i know and i really hope i don't sound patronizing to you. I do not know how bad the cancer is, but i wish them the very best and that the doctors can help bring about a full recovery.
What would be a good thing to say to her if I run into her?
"Hi, how are you doing? did you get my text ? Would it be ok to get a coffee maybe ?"
It'd put her on the back foot i think. That way you'd at least find out if she is flat out ignoring the text or if she genuinely hasn't been able to reply ? Really difficult to tell, to be honest.
If i HAD to force you into a situation, i would say you have to confront her ( in a nice way ) about it. Don;t let it hang. The longer you leave things, the worse you will feel.
No matter if her answer is good OR bad, you will at least know where YOU stand and can then either move on or talk with her about your feelings.
All the time nothing is being said, it will eat you up.
I agree I have to confront her. This happened in September and it's now November and I'm STILL thinking about it. As I said I live in a small town so I anywhere I go I'm worried that I may see her and it will be awkward. I'm quiet shy and nervous as a person so although I'm upset that she has been ignoring me I'll probably find it hard to say it to her.
It's quiet clear she got the message I sent her as she still has the same number. It wasn't a trivial issue I text her about it was something very important. So I feel she has no excuse about not replying. I think you may be right in saying that maybe she just doesn't know what to say.
Would you recommend I just wait until I run into her to say something? Or go out of my way and ask her?
I agree I have to confront her. This happened in September and it's now November and I'm STILL thinking about it. As I said I live in a small town so I anywhere I go I'm worried that I may see her and it will be awkward. I'm quiet shy and nervous as a person so although I'm upset that she has been ignoring me I'll probably find it hard to say it to her.
It's quiet clear she got the message I sent her as she still has the same number. It wasn't a trivial issue I text her about it was something very important. So I feel she has no excuse about not replying. I think you may be right in saying that maybe she just doesn't know what to say.
Would you recommend I just wait until I run into her to say something? Or go out of my way and ask her?
tough one to answer. To force the issue by confronting her now, might well mean that you can stop this from eating you up, all the more sooner. But you might risk a bad feeling situation if she feels you are being pushy. If you are to confront her now, i guess just be polite about it as possible. Easy for me to say i know, but I just generally feel there is more closure in dealing with a situation NOW, rather than leaving it in the hope it will fix itself. It never will. Inaction only serves to build more pain, i think.
On the other hand, bumping into one another on the off chance, may allow the conversation to flow more easily into the point you want to make to her. Think of that as an easier route perhaps to take, but it might be a long time before that chance meeting will happen. All that time it takes, will leave more time for your feelings to simmer.
I am sorry to say again, that I feel I am not being too helpful here because i keep putting the onus onto you to make what you will of the situation.
But i think that, for all of us, we know what we really want inside, regardless of what others may think about a situation. The onus IS on you because forcing yourself to act, only helps to build your confidence and strength for other things in your future life.
And in the end, all that is important here is the answer that you are seeking from her. " Will she help you, or not ". The way you go about getting that answer will have it's pitfalls, no matter how you try it, so you might aswell just bite the bullet and go for it, get it out of the way, then you can move on in whichever direction you need to, as soon as you know where you stand.
Best of luck to you and your family. I hope that the news is good :)
Hello again,
The situation is still the same as in the past. I have't ran into this teacher to confront her and I can't text her because I know she won't reply. Honestly, I would rather sort it face to face so she can't ignore me. Part of me is like oh why bother making an effort speaking to her when she clearly doesn't want to talk to me and the other part of me really wants to know why she's ignoring me.
Do you think that the reason she's ignoring me is because it's such a sensitive issue? I seen her in the place where my sister attends school recently and she couldn't even look at me just starred right at the ground and walked by me.
I'm embarrassed having text this teacher and not getting a reply. She gave me her number when I finished school now I feel anxious when I go to the local supermarket or shops incase I see said teacher. Do you think I was too forward? If anything I think she should be embarrassed because I'm going through a really awful time and she ignored me. What do you think?