I started college around a month ago, and during the induction and orientation weeks, I didn't really make any friends. I met a lot of people but none of it connected. And the people who I am sort of friends with are in a different class with different schedules. Now I'm in a class of 30 something people, and I sit alone during lectures and even during lunch. Everyone in the class seems to have already formed a group, squad, circle, etc. I've seen pictures posted of all of them hanging and having fun when it's only been a month, and bothers me that I'm not a part of any of it. I really hate the situation I'm in and I want it to change. I'm a relatively shy person and I'm really bad with starting or even having conversations with new people. Sometimes I'm even bad at conversations with my own cousins. Please tell me what I can do to make friends and some how be a part of one of these squads. I don't want my time in college to be a lonely one.
Responses (1)
Hey! I used to be really shy as a teen and I would get so anxious when it came to meeting new people or anything social. When I left secondary school (I live in the UK) i decided i really cant go on like that anymore, i wanted to make friends and no be ao nervous and shy. The only thing i could do was have some soet of 'outer body experience' this sounds weird I know, and it's a bit hard to explain, but I think of it more as though I'm looking down on the situation from outside my body which allowed me to have more confidence. That's a bad explanation sorry.
I always think about confident and outgoing people who don't get nervous and try to act that way too. So for example, in my first year of college, I was sat at a table with girls I didn't know and smiled and asked questions like "so are you prepared for this first year? "Anyone know what to expect from this course?" "I'm not great when it comes to writing essays, how do you find it? These kind of questions can spark up conversations and loosen the awkward tension.
Try to sit near to a group who you think would be your kind of people, joining in later is always hard but you have to push yourself, if you remain quiet and shy away no one will be drawn to you as they may feel awkward saying something to you or that it requires too much effort. Sit by the group and if you don't quite understand something in your class, politely lean over and casually just say "sorry, any chance you get this? It's going right over my head" if they respond and help you, go from there and create casual conversation, they may realise you are alone and invite you in their group, if they respond rudely then you wouldn't want friends like that anyway.
Confidence is key, if you show your confidence then others will thrive off that, be shy and quiet and no one will notice you are there. I hope I've explained myself properly, I'm not the best with explations. So what are you studying anyway? And where are you from? ☺