... I can't focus on it. Not by seeing, in my brain. My brain can't focus so everything seems "surreal". I have trouble explaining this to doctors. My life doesn't feel real. I don't feel completely "there". When someone says I love you I can't feel. It's like my life is just going by and I'm only watching it. I can't even cry anymore. I don't feel anything. I can do fun things and laugh but it's all forced. I do things and show fake emotion when I need to to keep people happy because inside I can't feel. Every day is passing with a this feeling. My memory is getting worse and worse. I'm only 16. I just don't understand what is happening to me... I have no access to a doctor of any kind right now