Me and my girlfriend (meagan) have been together about 5 months and I love her with all my heart. I'm a lesbian and she is bisexual. We have our little arguments that always lead back to 1 thing, a guy (Tom). We are all in the army and we live in the same building. I feel like my girlfriend would rather be with Tom than me. The story and my evidence is as follows. Month 1 I went to pick up dinner for my girlfriend. When I got back she was gone and she wasn't answering her cell. About an hour after I hadn't heard from her she text me that she had fallen asleep and didn't know where she was. I frantically went searching for her cuz she kept blacking out and couldnt give me any other information. I went to tom's room cuz I knew they were friends and he told me she wasn't there. I searched for 3 hours straight and went back to tom's room 6 times and everytime he told me he hadn't seen her. I was going to start knocking door to door to see if she was in someone's room when a friend of mine said she was in tom's room but she didn't want to see me. I found out later that night that she had been in his room the entire time and she had 2 drinks. She quit breathing that night and we had to call 911 and the paramedics thought she was roofied but she wouldn't go get checked out. At 2 months she was outside while I was comforting a friend and Tom came out and sat down and was talking to her. He left the superbowl party he was at to come talk to her (his favorite team is the giants and he missed them winning the superbowl to talk to my girlfriend). month 3 Meagan got drunk one night an woke up at 3am to tell me that she has a crush on Tom and she thought it would be easier to be with him than me. I went through her phone and found text messages from her to him saying she wanted to be with him and how she thought he was gorgeous. I told her that she told me an I forgave her. She quit talking to him for a while. Tonight she went to a party without me that he was at and I asked her not to talk to Tom at all. When I dropped her off I noticed she was texting him and asked if she was seriously texting him. She started arguing with me and went inside. Later on she didn't answer and of my calls and when I had a friend of mine call her phone Tom answered... I checked her phone again tonight but she deleted the messages with him. I checked her pictured and she has about 6 pics with him from tonight with his arms around her and them hugging. So, am I being overdramatic and non trustworthy or should I be concerned and do u think she would rather be with Tom? If ur answer is yes what should I do? I've made her my world and I don't wanna lose her but I can't be with her if she has secret feelings for Tom. She says he is like her brother but I mean come on the guy sends her a cat picture every morning with a funny saying (she loves those) and when I say every morning I mean EVERY morning.... What do I do?
She doesn't know that I went through her phone either time. That was wrong of me. How do I even begin to explain that? She deserves her privacy and my trust, but I had to know and she wasn't giving me answers. How do I even bring up that I went through her phone???
Oh and when I checked her messages last night when I saw those pics she had sent one of them to her mom saying how she would love to be with him and how he is like her big teddy bear. She said the only reason she isn't with him is because they r in the same platoon so technically they aren't allowed to date. We argued this morning and she basically told me that I've been a shitty girlfriend because I try to control her. She said I never let her hang with friends like Tom and other people and I said ok... Do what u want.... Idk what to do. When she looks at me with her beautiful eyes I instantly can't be mad at her anymore....
I postedthis question about a week ago and so far this is the update:
We compromised that she would talk to him anymore and that was the set deal. I found out the other day that they have never stopped talking. She has been kyongjue and telling me they have. I brought it up and we foughtfor quite awhile until I said I didn't care what she did and I wasn't going to care as much anymore. He is ok with this.... What do I do?