Is it okay for a 19 year old guy to be a virgin? I'm the only one of my friends that hasn't done it yet and as much as they tell me that that's not true, I can't help but not believe them. I'm not a virgin for religious reasons or anything, I just haven't done it yet. I have done other stuff with a girl before though and I have talked to girls on a more-than-friends level we, just never had sex. (I didn't try and get rejected, we just never did). I'm not the type to go around trying every girl that I can. I often hear "your time will come". I just wonder why I'm not one of the normal people that had their "time" while they were still pretty young. (I will know what I'm doing when I do it though, I'm sure I won't be lost)...Is there something wrong with me? Am I doomed forever, seeing how I'm not a normal teenager? My friends tell me that it's fine and that I'm normal and that I just haven't met the right girl and whatnot. Then again, I know I'm the only one that hasn't done it. It's not that I feel bad, I just think about it a lot and wonder when I will and why I haven't yet and if that makes me abnormal.
Responses (6)
i don't know why so many worry about losing their virginity so much. i guess it's because of all those movies ect. that make it look bad when it's not.
you shouldn't need to lose your virginity to fit in. i think it's better to wait until you think you're ready instead of just doing it to impress your friends. i don't think it's bad that you're still a virgin. there's nothing wrong with it.
I can relate to this personally, dude. I didn't get laid until I was in my 20's, I think. It's not an issue unless you make it one.
I used to get hung up on it a lot, and I would date girls but never really made it all the way. I wasn't pushy like many other guys I know; I always had this "respect" thing going on in my head. Turns out I was "putting the pussy on a pedestal," to borrow a phrase from 40 Year Old Virgin. I didn't have the teeth to try to seal the deal and I just wasn't confident enough in my own value. I thought I could let the girl lead into it. Big mistake.
Let me reiterate, it's totally normal, many of your friends are in the same boat but just 'front to save face, it doesn't make you gay, and it's not going to hurt you in the eyes of women. You just have to learn to own yourself and your experiences.
Focus on improving yourself first, and women will gravitate towards you like bees to honey. There are 3 things you can do today to get more comfortable in social situations, which will translate into success with women.
1) Travel - new experiences open you up to new people & ideas. Travel puts your tiny life into perspective with the entirety of Life.
2) Get an entry-level job in direct sales. Like Best Buy, or telemarketing. Anything that puts you outside your comfort zone and forces you to influence someone else's thought process helps you learn to a) listen to a person's needs and b) show the person how those needs will be met if they stick by you
3) Read. Read, read, read. Get your head out of the tube and go learn shit. Intelligence is incredibly useful, and its manifestations are intensely attractive to both sexes.
Now go. Start making yourself a valuable investment. Legs will part as if you had a magic wand.
Stress less my friend. Personally the less people you have sex with the more attractive you are (: but each to their own. Your not weird at all. Ive only had sex with one person, lost my virginity to them when I was 14 about 3-4 months into our relationship and we've been together for nearly 6 years now. Don't stress it will happen when it feels right with someone. Your age doesn't matter, dont rush into anything, sex makes things way more complicated as you are more emotionally attached to the person so good to wait til you find the right person and please use protection lol sex is for a moment but a baby is for a life time. lol hope this helps.
Our culture is one that is sex craved. Every sitcom has innuendos or outright images of young people in bed outside the confines of marriage. Marriage is the natural and God given institution for a man and a woman to be together intimately. Studies show that you will have a much better sex life as a married man if you can wait until marriage. People sex lives are marred by having sex with others and by masturbating. Think about this. When you do get married, the relationship is more about pleasing your spouse than pleasing yourself. This is in every way and not just in bed. Love is commitment and sacrifice. Love is longstanding and persevering. Love is not a feeling. Sex is an expression of love. If you are not willing to be committed to your woman through marriage, you will be just looking to please yourself. Women know what your motive is when you want to be intimate with them. It does affect your love making experience. Think about it. Do you want a little gratification now or would you rather have a lifetime of great sex with your wife?