I'm 19 years old and I've been dealing with a serious problem for 2 years. I'm an educated, cultured and mature person in the means of a random 19 year old guy and I really lose because of my qualities. I've never been found handsome or attractive and people always approached me with prejudice. Girls always avoided me because they found me short and not spoiled. I find myself good enough I don't have any problem with myself but people don't like me. I am so sad for many days and I am just so scared that I will never have the right person in my life. I don't even give myself a chance that I can have a girlfriend. Whenever I look at the websites about this thing, young girls tell the exact same thing. They don't consider me as a guy. For a year, I'm so desperate because whenever I go outside, I see couples hand to hand and this makes me so sad and my whole day ends just right there seeing that. I hate them and I am so jealous about them. Girls like jackasses, they fall in love with a guy who ruins their life and I lose just because I'm good spiritually. I wasn't a person like that in the past. Now I don't believe in miracles or God or anything. I want to cry and harm those people who harm me because of my identity. I can't cry but I actually die inside my soul. I argue with my parents about this loneliness issue and they also are bad now. They say that I'll eventually find a girl but I can't believe them, do they really think that a short, mature and good hearted guy like me can win in this life? I can't help myself. I did everything I could this year to have friends in college but they used my goodness and they neglected me. Because of this, I will probably go to a better college but that will be my second year and I'm just feeling so weak and worried about how I'm going to make friends over there. Please help me, my life is going to end up tragically. Do you really believe that I'll find a good woman and be happy?
Could you please help me with my problem? I'm a mess, I am so scared and desperate?
- Posted:
- 3+ months ago by acyg
- Topics:
- random, person, love, year, scared, problem, old, years, desperate, mature
Added 3+ months ago:
I can give more details about my losing life if you would like to listen. Thank you for your patience and helps
Responses (2)
I’m so sorry for the predicament you are in. Oftentimes, we project the way we feel about ourselves to others, whether it be verbally or otherwise. Here are some well-proven suggestions:
1. Work on your self-confidence. “You must love your neighbor as yourself.” (Galatians 5:14) To enjoy healthy friendships, we need to have a measure of self-worth—without, of course, veering into selfish pride.
2. Avoid self-pity. “Love . . . does not look for its own interests.” (1 Corinthians 13:4, 5) The fact is, when we focus too much on ourselves, we become less compassionate and are therefore less likely to attract friends.
3. Don’t settle for just anyone as a friend. “The one walking with the wise will become wise, but the one who has dealings with the stupid will fare badly.” (Proverbs 13:20) A starving person will eat almost anything. In a similar way, people who are starved for friends could look for friendship in all the wrong places. They could even become easy targets for manipulators, thinking that such relationships are normal and that they shouldn’t expect anything better.
If you think about it, everyone gets lonely at times; it’s just a matter of degree. And while loneliness can be a devastating feeling, in the end it’s just that—a feeling. Our feelings are usually preceded by our thoughts, and we can take control of our thoughts.
You don't need to worry about what others think.... It happens to everyone. Be Strong and be bold life will sort itself for you in the end.
Thank you for your answer. But I really can't tell how I feel so bad. No one can imagine how I'm going down right now. Me and my parents argue all the time because of this and our family peace is gone. I'm afraid to go outside because of those lovers out there, I hate myself and them when I see them. I just can't see this fair that uneducated, aggressive and jerk guys win and guys like me lose. I am so afraid to live and die alone. I'm so afraid that I'll never have the chance to hold a hand, kiss someone and the only thing that will make me feel alive is someone that loves me. I didn't sin, I don't deserve this humiliations and excommunication about my appearance or thoughts. I took pills to calm down, I hope it will help me