Last year, I made good friends with a boy a few years younger than me. And no, we're not gay, please don't reply that, it doesn't help. We loved each other a lot, more like a bromance. At the same time, being a few years younger than him, he became like my younger brother, he would always tell me everything on his mind and when he had any problems too. He has a crush on my cousin who is in his class and yeah, it's a little awkward, cause she's way out of his league, but let him try anyway.
Every day that passed only brought us closer to each other. During the hols, I missed him a tremendous amount, because we stay quite far away. we would message each other occaisonally. School started normally, and we were back to our friendship, and we talked a lot, but our friendship started feeling, I don't know, awkward or weird, cause he would bring his gang of friends[ around 6 of them], and I would be the only guy of my age around. Also, my parents came to know and my mom fired me, saying that i shouldn't hang out with smaller kids, people would think other things like I was using him and all other shit that I don't want to mention. we had a big row and I seriously though about suicide, but I'm not a coward, so I just stopped talking to her. For a few days at least. These rows continued until one day I decided enough was enough, so I sent a message to him saying, that thing's had complicated and I couldn't expect him to understand and I told him not to come near me or my friends in school and that i wouldn't either.
Now almost a week has passed since I stopped talking to him. I see him sometimes, but he avoids eye contact. He seems a bit depressed, he hangs his head while walking and drags his feet in the dust...
And I miss him. A lot. I cry myself to sleep. For the past year, I started every prayer with , Lord, please protect______' but now my prayers are become more and more demanding and whatever.
And I don't know what to do, because if I continue like this I might lose it, and if I make up to him, my mom will fire me again... And to make things worse, he's moving to London next year, so we'll lose touch... And I thought that breaking off the friendship would be good cuz it wouldn't break me when he left, but just being able to see him and Not talk to him is crippling me....Please please please please help me! Nd don't suggest doing anything behind my mother's back, I'm not that kinda guy..