Can you help me find a funny monologue?

(A woman, Lo, returns from chasing someone and is upset. She's in the town square of Metropolis, Illinois next to the Superman statue)

LO

Hey! Wait a minute! Wh... what?! No! This isn't right! I come to your stupid town and the first thing that happens is that I'm mugged? First guy I meet and he's a con man. Kent the con man. Ah! Why am I so stupid? Don't talk to strangers. (Yells at statue) Isn't that what you teach this kids, Superman? Well, I blew it. Blabbed to some random dude and he mugs me. Why did I follow a dream? I am an idiot. A stupid, dumb bubblehead.

(she plops down on a bench)

I'm always a victim. There's not enough heroes in this world. Not enough Supermans. Sure, there's bunches of you parading around in costumes, but there's not many real men of steel. Not any willing to take a bullet for me.

(she jumps up again)

And you know what?! My life savings was 50 bucks! How's that for irony? And my credit cards are maxed out! Ha! Jokes on you!

(plops down on bench again)

I just want my lucky key chain back.
END OF SCRIPT
1-2 minutes

or...

JENNY
I've always had a thing for nerds. All kinds ... Geeky, Weirdo, Freak, Techie, Trekkie or Dork... you name it... I want to catch them all.. Sorry for the Pokemon reference... I am a bit of a nerd myself. Girl nerds are rare but we do exist.

I hung out with nerd-lings as a kid. We played Dungeons and Dragons and I loved being dungeon master ...holding their fates in my hands. It doesn't matter how pretty you are, just the fact you're female and like something nerdy makes you very attractive to them. Other kinds of guys could care less about me... But to nerds... I was hot.

The more I hung out with boy nerds, the more I realized the power girls have over them... There's nothing they want more than First Contact with the female of their species.

But with great power comes great responsibility and I tried not to take advantage... Much.

And the best thing about nerds is that they give you their full attention. Pretty boys are too worried about their looks and compete for fairest of them all... With pretty boys there is always a fight for the mirror. With tough guys and jocks... They always want praise or worship. It's all about them and they turn romance in to a competition ... (Does body builder impression) Who is the lucky girl who gets me today?
Nerds are the kindest kind of guy. They have the best hearts... If you get past the over drawn comic book heroines and the overly aggressive Sci Fi babes... They really care about you and who you are.
You get a nerdy guy's full attention. The rest of the world slips away and you're his entire universe, because no Death Star, Tardis or warp drive is more exciting than a girl who gives him the time of day. That's why I like these guys... I feel special... important... and not alone anymore.

END

2-3 minutes

All taken from: freedrama.net/small1c.html