Two and a half years ago my grandfather passed away and we had a special connection( he always called me special k and i hung out with him a lot) and ever since then i've been confused and scared. Whenever i try to talk to my parents about it they say it's just puberty but at nights i cat stop thinking about it to the point where i'm crying and I'm barely getting any sleep. I just want to stop thinking about it but every where i look there's something that has to do with death, in songs, shows, talks, everything. Please help me, i just want it to stop.
Can the death of a loved family member cause you to fear death(Thanatophobia)?
- Posted:
- 3+ months ago by Kit_Kat47
- Topics:
- family, fear, death, grandfather
Details:
Responses (1)
I empathize with you so much, and I'm very sorry for your loss. But please know you're not alone in this. And of course such an event can cause a fear! Especially a fear of death, which is something I believe everybody fears at least somewhat inside. I'm a teenager too (assuming you are by mention of puberty), and I've experienced this same problem (but with no trigger). I used to be absolutely restless when these thoughts regularly plagued me. Every night I was consumed with fears of death that kept me from sleeping--mostly regarding my family. I'd cry into my pillow for hours upon end, and it would get to the point where I'd have to walk around my whole house visiting my loved ones and pets to make sure they were all still breathing before I could fall asleep. But alas, it hasn't happened in many months. I'm not entirely sure why, and there's no set solution that I could possibly give you. But when the thoughts come to you, just try to relax and reassure yourself that you and everyone you love has a long, long time left. You're so young! When you become consumed with this fear, go to the nearest mirror and gaze at your reflection. Just stare at your youth, your health. Tell yourself repeatedly that you are young, that you are just beginning. And at night when you become afraid, do the same thing in your mind. Tell yourself over and over again that life is long, and you're just starting. And if you have one, it'd be super reassuring, I'm sure, to breathe into your faith and beliefs. Whether you believe in heaven, reincarnation...it doesn't matter. If you have beliefs regarding death or the afterlife, remind yourself of them. What often helped me was telling myself that death isn't the end, that I'll someday be reunited with everyone I've ever loved somewhere better--of course, there is no way to be certain, but it is comforting if you allow yourself to believe it. And it doesn't even matter if it isn't true; after all, it helps, and believing that is certainly better than living your life in fear of the inevitable.
I hope things get better for you as they have for me, and please don't give up trying to rid yourself of these thoughts. I know you can. (And sorry for the long response!)
Best of luck.