Can normal marriage relationship exsist if there a strained relationship with the spouse's parents?

This is a difficult question. I would say it would depend on several factors. I'll tell you about my situation and how my husband and i handle it.
When I was 20 and my boyfriend at the time was 23 we found out I was pregnant. We had been dating for 3 years but had broken up earlier in the year because he was about to graduate college and planned on taking a job out of state. I got pregnant in March but didn't find out until May, the week of his graduation. He had in fact already accepted a job 8 hours away. When we told his parents they didn't take it well. His mother was upset and disappointed and over the pregnancy was distant but otherwise fine. She didn't direct any anger at me. His dad lived in a different state so we had to tell him over the phone. I'd only met him once or twice prior to this phone call. He was a total ass to me. He said many truly terrible things to me including if I had any sort of intelligence I would abort this child. I believe in pro choice but my choice would never be abortion! He accused me of several horrible things such as trying to ruin his sons life. He told me I would also be ruining an innocent child's life and many other things. He said this would never work out well for any of us and i was just plain stupid if i thought otherwise. He was extremely hurtful.

My husband and I now have 2 children, ages 14 and 4. We will be married 12 years this May and together for 18 total. We have our ups and downs but are quite happy and I still love him very much.

My relationship is very strained with his dad. We go to visit him for Christmas every other year and it is just miserable for me. He usually comes to visit us once or twice a year as well. I spend much of these visits in the bedroom reading. The way that I handle him is to stay away from him. I let my kids and husband get as much quality time with him as possible without the strain of our relationship getting in the way. When we have to be around each other sometimes it is fine. Sometimes I feel that he makes little shitty comments or digs at me and I refuse to just take it. It isn't in my nature to just turn the other cheek and my husband knows this. I have told him he can either keep his dad in check or I will put him in check but I will never start anything with him. If something happens it will not ever be because I started it. However he is a very loving grandfather and father so it wouldn't be fair to my kids or my husband to try to keep them apart.

The balance is difficult to find but we both try very hard to find it. He respects the way I feel and understands why. I, in turn, respect that this is his father and they love each other. He hates having to deal with this as he is a very non confrontational person, but he doesn't blame me. I have valid reasons for the way I feel. In addition to that conversation he has never apologized nor recognized that he was obviously wrong. I honestly believe I could have in time let all that go but he has continued to make little snide comments or been snippy with me. When he does this I feel all bets are off and let him have it. I have absolutely no problem letting him know where he can shove his comments and exactly how I feel about his opinions! He has begun to realize that he has damaged his relationships with his son and our kids and over the last few years has been doing less of this or only doing it when they aren't present. I always tell my husband of every confrontation but I do not expect him to step in. I can handle my own problems but I don't want him to be unaware of what is going on. He understands that I have no interest in harming their relationship as I said his father is wonderful with everyone but me. If that wasn't the case it would be very different.

I think the more you put pressure on your spouse about his parents or try to put space between them the more your spouse will come to resent it. I try very hard to think of how I would want him to handle this if it was my parents that were causing issues. I think coming at it as this is obviously a problem and how do WE deal with it so it doesn't cause a rift in our marriage is the best way. If it does cause problems in the marriage then u are letting the parents win! Mutual respect is key. You aren't going to fully understand everything the other feels about the situation but figure out the middle ground and try to never do or say something that the other will not be able to respect you doing.

I wish you the best of luck and hope this helps!