Major depression is my biggest fear. I'm afraid that I might become depressed to the point that I would commit suicide. At first I was afraid of body symptoms but after going to the doctor many times they told me it was just my anxiety, so I know longer fear those symptoms. What I fear now are my emotional symptoms, Fears of going crazy, of dying, of impending doom, unusual feelings and emotions, unusually frightening thoughts or feelings. I know it's my anxiety that's making feel like this, but there's always the “what if?" what if it's depression? I don't think I'm depressed because I love my life, my family, myself, I look forward to many things in my life and there is no way in hell that I would ever hurt myself or others, every time I think about hurting myself or others I get very anxious and panicky. Sometimes I start thinking "what if I get fed up with things in life?" When I have these thoughts I get very panicky because I'm afraid it might lead to depression if I ever get fed up with things I do in my life, I never get fed up with things in my life it’s just the way I think because of my anxiety. I also get a little anxious when I'm bored because it’s like there is nothing to look forward to or nothing to do, basically anything that I think of that can lead to depression I get anxious. I have taken many depression tests and they all say I have no depression. I just have to eliminate the “What if" and I know I'll be good. I was so afraid of the word depression that I tried to avoid it because it just made me anxious. I couldn't read or hear about anything that was related to depression because I would starts to feel panicky. When I heard about Robin Williams my anxiety was really bad.