My ex broke up with me about a month ago. It was a long distance relationship, which obviously has its challenges. Anyway, she told me that she thought we should see other people while she was home one weekend. She said that she realized that she didn't love me as a boyfriend and just wanted me to be a best friend. I told her that she couldn't have her cake and eat it too. At first she would contact me a lot just looking to talk and she would get choked up a bit and tell me that she missed me. I wasn't getting clear answers as to why this all came about so I checked her facebook (I don't need a lecture on the morality of this. I know I invaded her privacy but decided I wanted answers and I stick by my decision). I read a convo between her and a friend; turns out that she was not sure about the distance but there is also some guy that she is working with that she is interested. She told her friend that she feels terrible leaving me and is so split on what to do and doesnt know if she wants the distance. She said that she switched into the guys morning lecture and has hung out with him (this is all post breakup). The guy has a girlfriend. She even said she would feel horrible if some girl had done that to her and I. She contacted me again a day later and I told her what she was doing was wrong but she just said I didn't know the whole story and that she hadn't done anything. I said that the idea was there and she was wrong. Not sure if she still talks to him. I deleted her number and removed her from my friends list on facebook, then I told her not to contact me anymore until I could figure out what I wanted and could get over her. She got upset about this. She later texted me a really urgent text over her spring break asking to talk asap bc something happened. I skyped her that night to make sure she was ok and she broke down crying about losing a bracelet I had given her. A week after that she texts me that she is at a concert for the band that sings our song, but they hadn't played it yet...I responded in a way to make sure there was no conversation that ensued. I'm really confused as to why she is telling me she just wants to be friends but goes ahead and does all of these things anyway. I am not over her but I can see that if she doesn't want a relationship that it won't work between us. I am a very rational person when I'm calm and can think things through but I don't know what to do about this situation so I'm just talking it day by day. I thought I was getting over her but after seeing the text about our song and the bracelet I'm confused. I'd like to know what you guys think about my situation as a third party that has no emotional connection to me and can shoot me straight. She is not a bad girl. I know that she still has feeling for me and that is part of why she contacts me but I will not be played for a fool and get dragged along. I'd like some advice, wisdom, ideas (as long as they're serious). I'd also like an opinion if I should send her a Happy Birthday email/text/or call and just leave it at that and end the convo there. I have feelings for her but that's not my reason for the bday wish, I'm doing it to be polite (I don't hate her and truly do want to wish her a happy birthday). Thank you every one!
Break up help?
- Posted:
- 3+ months ago by Crossfitter
- Topics:
- break, distance, broke, challenge, relationship, month, long distance, help
Details:
Responses (1)
Ok I think u should just take it slow and see what happens tell her your true feelings and ask her (in a serious conversation) if she still likes u that way and if she doesn't then u no to just be friends don't think of her as some important person to look up to and have to text everyday be JUST friends tell her u don't like all the nonsense and c what she has to say
Also I think u should text her happy birthday a text means she isn't the most important person in your life but u care enough about her to say it.