I am so offended and upset, I feel like he doesn't trust me. We've been together for almost 2 years now and will be moving to a new city together shortly. I make quite a bit less financially than he does...he says a lot of men he works with have been screwed over during divorces and have to pay their ex wives spousal support.....which is why he would want me to sign a prenup. How should I feel about this? I love him a lot and want to marry him someday, but I get so upset when we bring up this subject...I don't know how to feel
Boyfriend says he wouldn't marry me unless I sign a prenup cause he wouldn't want me to get spousal?
- Posted:
- 3+ months ago by Catwoman123
- Topics:
- boyfriend, trust, feel
Details:
Responses (3)
he is right, there are lots of women taking advantage of men after divorce and i believe that prenup agreements will become the norm as we go further. you should not feel offended, you should appreciate he is mature enough to think long term. people can change and he seems to know that - i can witness that people can change dramatically over time, it is my own experience
In my view the world has changed for worse as to marriage. Yes, marriage used to mingle two people in a family with common goals, common support etc. However, due to the massive change in legislation mainly driven by the feminist movement, there have been a lot of abuses by women against men. Women whom had neved done anything but suddenly getting half. Or even worse, men being forced to pay a livetime alimony based on a certain level of income and then trown into jail after loosing the job and not being able to pay. All this things have driven men to be extremelly cautios when engaging into relationships. I do not think that the old fashioned 'I get half' will last long in the future. So, as long as he asks for a prenup then you also should demand a clear plan on how the finances will be managed and ask to save a share for yourself instead of waiting for a future half. I do not know how this can be legally enforced, probably it would worth seeking some legal advice. Definitelly you need to protect your financial wellfare in the future but rather than aiming tomthe traditional split, proactivelly build it by yourself. It is a pitty that relationships evolved into such crap, they tend to be more commercial than emotional nowadays. But sadly I do not see any way back
Thank you for your comments, I really appreciate the advice. I think you are right, all I can do is try to look after myself and save as much as possible in case things do ever take a turn for the worst...maybe even go back to school as I only have an Office program certificate..making $15/hour is getting me no where. When the time comes to go over the prenup I think I will talk to a professional just to make sure it is being fair to both of us. It really is sad that marriages are more commerical now, like you said...I never imagined I would even be discussing things like this..
It is not a matter of trust it is a matter of knowledge. All women in a divorce get everything they can regardless of any promises they may have made. However, I believe a prenup can only protect what he brought into the marriage and then only if it hasn't be co-mingled.
In any event, if you have been married for a number of years, you will receive a reasonable portion of the assets accumulated during the marriage. A prenup that states otherwise will be disregarded by the court.
I understand I prenup protecting any assets he accumulated before marriage (his condo, savings, cars etc) yes that would make sense...But after marriage?? it seems to me like it should be fair game 50/50 doesnt it? Shouldnt marriage be two people coming together as one? He even wants to have seperate bank accounts...i am in NO way a golddigger...I love him dearly...I just make quite a bit less than he does. For me not to get spousal support or any of his pension or anything if we were to get divored scares me...where does this leave my financial future? What if we are together for 50 years?! I deserve nothing???....