Book recommendations about controlling your mind and emotions better?

Question

I am looking for a book (or maybe website) recommendation about the topic of controlling your own mind and your emotions. I have read plenty of books about improving yourself, about habits, etc. I am not looking for wishy-washy stuff like &ldquo;The Secret&rdquo; or similar literature along the lines of &ldquo;with positive thinking everything is possible&rdquo;. Those are easy enough to find and useless. Sometimes all the positive thinking combined with hard work and good habits won&rsquo;t help.

What I am looking for is a method that would help me to be in full control of my emotions, kind of like a Star Trek Vulcan (e.g. Tuvok). Considering that there is a lack of Vulcans in real life and a mind melt and mentorship by a Vulcan is out of the question, I think books or websites are the only way to get the required information &ndash; and maybe someone here has read a GOOD and helpful book about this topic. These days, there are hundreds &ndash; if not thousands &ndash; of books on all sorts of issues, so it is hard to find the good ones (even Amazon reviews aren&rsquo;t reliable any longer because reviews are now bought for cash or free products). 

I have come to the stage in life where I want to give up on certain thought patterns and emotions, e.g. I completely want to get rid of the hope that something like true, honest, long-lasting friendships based on mutual affection and some shared interests are possible in my life. The belief in love, I have already lost, so that is not even an issue. I have just had a heart-breaking experience considering friendships, so I just had enough. I don&rsquo;t want to hope again, and I don&rsquo;t want to feel that pain again. I just have to accept that it&rsquo;s not possible for me as there must be some sort of curse on my life.

So what kind of books are out there about breaking out of old thought habits? No matter what I did in the past, I often just find hope creeping in again. And how can I get rid of emotions? I am only seen as a great worker and reliable person by others, so what&rsquo;s the use of feeling anything?

P.S.: I don&rsquo;t have a very reliable internet connection and work many hours each day, so I might not get back to potential replies right away. So I would like to let you know in advance that I will be grateful for any useful advice and recommendations

Answer

First, all emotions are habits that you have to learn. All you have to do is learn new behaviors to replace them. You can do that in acting classes. At first you might feel like that is a phony way to live, but that feeling passes after you have learned what you need to know.

Second, your attitude about true honest friendship is because you have only met dishonest jerks so far. There is nothing you can do about that other than wait and hope. And learn how to act when you meet someone worth hanging around with. Go to a church on Wednesday evening. You don't have to believe anything. Every church does something different, so if one is not interesting you can go to another one. Don't tell them about your problems, just say you heard you could meet some nice people.

Book recommendations about controlling your mind and emotions better?

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