I have never been a religious person. My mom is Buddhist who was raised a catholic(she went to catholic school till she was in 9th grade). So I have never had religion shoved down my throat and when I did go to church with either my friends or my Grandparents I could develop an outside opinion. I have never truly understood religion I do believe there are could be a God or Goddess or even more then one out there but I feel that religion and Jesus have been distorted and corrupted.
Well anyway 2 months ago I met a guy Tod who was absolutely amazing when we first started talking I didn't know he was religious well a few days later he mentioned something about his parents having Bible study at there house one night and that's when he told me that he was religious well that didn't effect our relationship at all( I'm not a religion hater I accept people for who they are and not what religion they practice). Well so we have been dating for a little more the 2 months now and just this last week he went to Church Revival camp and before he left he warned me that he was going to be different but that it wasn't going to last forever and I told him that was fine I could live with it. Well now he's back and things have gone from bad to worse in just 2 days. When he got back he was all about Jesus and God and it was making me a little uncomfortable but i didn't want to tell him that.
So yesterday we decided that he was going to take 3 days to work things out in his head and to decide what he wants well later that day I got a text from him saying that he Loves me a misses me way to much to not talk to me(I thought that was sweet). Well we talked for a few hours and it was just like it was before he went to camp well I went to the movies with my mom and her bf so I couldn't talk for a few hours when I got out of the movie we talked for a few minutes before he said he wanted to call me when we talked it was fine at first that he got all paranoid that him doing his religious stuff was going to freak me out(i.e. wearing his cross in front of me). I laughed and told him no that stuff really doesn't bother me at all.
Well we were fine after that up until about 10:30 last night when he told me he had to tell me something I asked him what and he said that he's not braking up with me but God told him that he needs to be dating a girl that loves him and understands his religion well I just broke down there and didn't text him back for a while. that had hurt me so bad well when I finally texting him back we kind of worked it out I was still hurting I was just feeling better until I asked if he was sure he didn't want to brake up because he seemed like he did and what he said back to me made me brake down right there he said that he wasn't sure that he was still praying about it but he didn't think he would. After I had sort of stopped crying I told him that maybe until he got his head cleared and when he knew what he wanted we shouldn't talk or see each other well he begged me not to do that.
After talking about it we did make up but ever since then I haven't felt right like everything is just numb and sometimes when I think about what happened last night I want to cry and just leave him forever but at the same time a part of me knows that Tod is the best thing that ever happened to me and that he even told me that him being like this wont last forever I just don't know how much I can handle it and I really really don't know what do right now. can someone please help me?