Am I Not Good Enough For A Relationship?

Question

I am 28 years of age. I have been unable to enter a relationship.
I have been on dating websites for seven years and have been hugely unsuccessful.

There are a lot of things working against me.

My personality is flawed. I have many autistic traits that women find off putting.
The way I interact with people is inept.
Whilst I love my job and have a decent salary, I think most people would look down at me for not earning enough and lacking status.
I am often described as "nice", which either means that I'm insincere and nasty in nice clothes or just plane boring.
The way I talk is often portrayed as weird.
I'm also not very manly, however I'm not feminine either. So in addition to not being a "real man" I lack that feminine touch.
I also have a tendency to bash myself and compare myself to others.

I really want a partner. Anyone. If I can somehow become a 5/10 (fat chance) I might be able to woo a 1/10. It just seems like 100% of all women are out of my league.

Should I accept that I am not good enough for a relationship?

Answer

try doing it irl, you know? get out there man, never think that it's only possible through the internet.

Answer

Hello lesser_man!

First of all stop bashing yourself so hard! Your still pretty young and you don't need to rush into a relationship, before worrying about wooing a women, worry about yourself. The first thing you need to do is accept yourself,

Your personality, appearance, everything. Dating sites may not be the best source nowadays, if you are looking for your soul mate get out there, find connections, make friends and let it come to you. Rushing into a relationship often can be bad, and in the end you may miss that shot at that lucky gal.

Stop putting yourself down so much, girls usually like a guy who is right in the middle of being manly and feminine (at least I do!). And as long as your getting enough to pay bills and keep food in the house it shouldn't be a issue with 'lacking status'.

Remember to stay true to yourself somebody will come along and just enjoy you being you. (:

Answer

Here's the bottom line you've been wasting time, money, energy and emotion for 7 years.  It finally has occurred to you to find help.

Yea!  Good for you.  Go get into therapy.  Work on your depression and self-esteem, and learn how your negativity can drive people away.  Learn about social filters and when and what you should and should not say.  Look into medications and what opportunities you can take advantage.  Maybe by now you will have an open mind to start making some changes.  If it hasn't been working then stop doing it and do something else!

Best wishes for a successful therapy and a much happier 2018!

Am I Not Good Enough For A Relationship?

Responses (4)