I've been researching sociopaths for a while now, and I'm very interested in them, especially when I realized that I had many similar qualities with them. I tend to have all, qualities of a sociopath, more or less, depending on the quality, for instance, I am a charming and manipulative person, and feel almost no emotion towards people who I haven't bonded with. But on the other hand, I love animals of all kinds and can't stand to see them in pain. I'd rather be around animals than people, actually. I've been told multiple times throughout my life that I am selfish and think of myself higher than others. Which can be true in only some aspects. I seem to be a remotely intelligent girl, or so I've been told and I love to be in control of things. I lie often, and when things happen I tend to blame others, so as to get myself out of trouble. I never really had any problems with the law, though I do not agree with rules, and tend to break them. I've done illegal things, (mostly B&E, which interests me the most), and it's always with friends, who I've manipulated into doing it with me. I have no interest in killing people, though I have thought of it a few times, about teachers I hate, or people that annoy me. I get angry easily and have a short temper, but I think that just runs in my family. There is something that confuses me though. I have dealt with self-harm in the past and does not go with loving myself, but loathing.
But on another hand on most occasions I tend to act like a regular 15 year old girl. I like boys, and to party with my friends. I really don't understand, just sometimes I feel different. Most of the time people don't like me or hate me automatically, because I don't smile that often, and mostly I'm quiet around new people. I listen instead. I'm just pretty confused about the whole situation if someone could give me some insight that'd be awesome.