Am I a lost cause?

Question

I&rsquo;m 24, have dated several men but it always broke down before getting to a proper relationship. 
I&rsquo;m 5&rsquo;11&rdquo;, slightly above average weight (but carry most of it on my chest), I&rsquo;ve had several jobs working as a medical professional. 
I have massive insecurities about my appearance so I don&rsquo;t dress to gain attention from anybody. 
I have one friend who is in her 50&rsquo;s and single with no children and she doesn&rsquo;t have any friends, so no possibility of mutual connections there. 
My only sibling, my sister, has a young child and doesn&rsquo;t socialise in any circles that would open me up to meeting new people. 
I have one hobby which is art, obviously this is a hobby that doesn&rsquo;t often give possibilities of meeting new people either. 
I&rsquo;ve recently overcome a substance abuse issue and have diagnosed mental health issues, specifically what I&rsquo;m hung up about is the fact that I have very obvious and very ugly scars on my body from self harm. 
I see a psychologist regularly for all of these these issues, they recommend me partaking in more social activities but due to my insecurities about my appearance this is very uncomfortable. 
I&rsquo;ve tried online dating, where it seems the norm that men state their intentions as &ldquo;long term&rdquo; or &ldquo;serious&rdquo; when they just want to have casual friends with benefits. 

Question is, at I completely missing the mark? Should I be looking somewhere else? Am I a lost cause?

Answer

I dont want to say lost cause but i will say that until you get your head on straight all those problems can scare people away.  You have your plate full with psychological issues, self-image issues, socializing issues, depression and negativity.  In the midst of all that where do you have time to be lighthearted and fun?

I'd do some serious thinking about getting myself focused on getting through therapy instead of going in a dozen different directions and focusc on  two goals.  Success can be achieved via small steps.

You have an interest in art.  Take classes!  Community college, junior college, Learning Exchange type classes that are short-term.  My friend enjoys art and she's constantly taking classes in all types of media.  Quite often those classes have art shows. Look in your local paper and see if your local art galleries have what is called Second Saturday or something like it where art displays get changed and different artists are displayed and some galleries have little parties.  Go to them.  Get out, meet people, talk, socialize, meet people who are also interested in art.

Look on line for a site called Meet Ups.  Nearly every hobby or interest has a group enjoying getting together to share that interest.  I happen to like drum circles and i went have fun met great people.  I also volunteer time at the animal shelter walking dogs.  Look into volunteering somewhere doing something.

Just get out there and stop finding excuses about why you can't.  Go out for coffee with people you meet.  Go to the movies with people you meet.  There was even a group who met to go to the movies then out for coffee to discuss it.

Stop thinking that every guy you meet has to be a relationship.  Get your head on right.  Get a light hearted outlook for starters and learn how to socialize.

Best of luck!

Answer

First, get yourself stabilized by taking B-100 pills. Vitamin B2 is a dye that makes urine bright yellow, so when the color fades, it's time for another dose. Study some books about nutrition so you know about such things.

Second, go to a church on Wednesday evening. You don't have to believe anything. Every church does something different, so if one is not interesting you can go to another one. Don't tell them about your problems, just say you heard you could meet some nice people.

Wash your face, comb your hair, and that is what you look like. Wear clean clothes and you will look wonderful to at least one man. One man is all you need.

Answer

no noone is a lost cause

Answer

no noone is a lost cause

Am I a lost cause?

Responses (3)