Long story short, I have had panic/anxiety and depression for a long time and have had really bad times in my life with some family members being verbally/physically abusive to me in childhood. Now as an adult woman, I feel I'm not worth being a wife, mother and friend and that no one is going to want me (men specifically) because I have said some nasty things to my family (coming from the past) and out of hurt and frustration because of my depression/anxiety. I feel guilty because I have called someone a name in an argument and have yelled, slammed a door etc and that these are not attractive qualities and people will think less of me and not want to be with me and that I'm a bad person. I was raised with respect and kindness and don't intentionally hurt people in any way, I am normally happy and by nature, a calm, decent person where it's the circumstances that brought out that kind of frustration in me rather that it being my true personality, but I feel like that sounds like an excuse. Your thoughts? What would you think of me?
Answers (2)
I doubt that my opinion as a stranger will help that much but here it is.
I think what separates good and bad people is the ability to feel happiness due to other people's happiness. In regards to your life, I think you are a little insecure and may need to seek help. I hope that you know that as long as you are living things can always change for the better, and that an apology, no matter how late can and often does mean something for both parties involved.
I would think that you're a normal human being. Everyone has problems to deal with and the way we deal with things is different from another person. I have had anxiety and severe depression since I was 9 years old, sometimes you just lash out- it's okay, it happens. People who think badly of you, or people who scold you for things that you can't control don't deserve to be in your life anyway. The people who truly understand your situation and get what's going on in your life are the people that you need to surround yourself with. It's easier said than done, I honestly understand that, however what you need to think is positive things. Don't think, 'No one is going to want to be with me because of the way I am.' think, 'There IS going to be someone who wants to be with me because of the way I am.' Again, those who choose to be around you and those who know the real you are the only people who deserve to be with you. Family issues are in the past- from your childhood. The best mind set to have is always look at what's ahead of you, not behind. You have the ability to change the future, you just can't change the past. Also, everything happens for a reason. Keep that in mind as well. Be aware of the situations that make you upset or that cause problems for you. The most helpful thing to do when a situation or circumstance arises like that is to walk away from it. If you're unable to walk away, take things in little increments. Baby steps. Life doesn't have to be rushed, neither do you. You are worthy and you are worth it. You can do anything you set your mind to, I believe in you 100% of the way. All you need to do is remember that yourself and life will be grand. <3
-*- If you're ever looking for a way to relieve some stress, let out some frustration, feeling down in the dumps or even if you feel like an episode might set in, try to write down everything you're thinking and feeling on a scrap piece of paper. Make sure that it's scrap and not something fancy. The point of the scrap paper is to throw it away once you're finished writing. Let out all your emotions on that scrap piece of paper and then throw them away. Let go of the negative energy that you're harboring. It helps me a lot now that I think about it and honestly it might help you too. As for your anxiety, try deep breathing exercises when you feel that tight feeling. Breathe from your diaphragm not your shoulders. These things might seem small, however they might help you a lot as well. I wish you the best of luck friend, I hope that you enjoy everything and smile all the time. -*-