My mother and I never got on really well for the past 4 years.
It's just her attitude I can't understand.

I will admit that she tries to do things but never goes the whole way and when she says she's trying to please me , it seems as if she's trying to please herself rather than please me which is why I can't always appreciate her efforts.

And she always tells our family, her friends , strangers that I am "horrible" that I "despise" her but in reality she looks down upon me or so I feel.

I also have an eating disorder : For 5 years or so I've been a binge eater and bulimic.
I found a cure within the "Raw till 4" lifestyle ( Eating a lot of fruits and being vegan) .
She agreed to the veganism part (For that I am grateful) but refused to let me eat the fruit and forces me to restrict my calories so I binge even more and it makes her mad.

Earlier on she told me to "piss off". I am really tired of being in such a poisonous relationship when all my friends are mad about their own mothers.
We can never be at peace or so it seems
Can I get some help ?

and I have another 19 months of having to live in the family home ...