I knew him for a while but it was kind of a one night stand situation, it (having an intimate relationship with him) was the worst thing I've ever put myself through. He thought I was stupid and didn't care about me. I think he was a pervert, total low life ass. Anyway, I can't have a relationship with anyone. I just turned 27 and I gave up a long time ago, even before I lost my virginity. So I can't just get a bf and get over this. I don't even like anyone anyway. After what happened my interest in any man only goes so far, I think I secretly hate them. I still think about him all the time even though Im slowly forgetting him and most of the time my thoughts about him are depressing angry thoughts, not happy memories. So how do you get someone out of your head that you've obsessed over for years, even though they hurt you. Its made me so bitter about life in general, especially romantic love and whats real. Everyone probably thinks Im cold and mean like a robot, including my own mother. Im not as much of a scary mess as I was for the first year after it happened but before it happened I was so different, not a real friendly person but not such a negative pissy person like I am now.