I'm bullied in school, I don't know why. I'm not that like dorky or stupid. I'm pretty except I have a huge nose. But it's as if, well when I'm in school walking through a corridor and the a couple of guys pass us it's always my book they grab and throws on the ground. It is really embaressing, that they do those things in front of my friends. Please answer!
Responses (103)
Chances are the bully has been bullied in the past and is trying to find a way to get back at anyone they can get their hands on. Or they fancy you(I mean, you said you were pretty, right?) Or they are just complete a$$holes.
Best way to respond to any bully is to not show any fear, just walk away and they'll get bored and eventually give up on you. Same thing happened to me, however after a year they claimed they 'fancied' me. Just walk away and strut your stuff girl ;) x
They continue to bully because you are an easy target. Stop making it easy for them. They throw your books down in the hall then embarrass them. Yell at the TOP of your lungs. Tell them they are rude and immature children. Make sure everyone hears you. Whenever they are near loudly refer to them as the children. Tape dippers to there locker for the children. There are so many ways to make their life hell. Leave pacifiers on their desks. Stop being a target now or you will ALWAYS be one.
Honey, you Do have to stand up for yourself. Also tell your parents, the counselor, the principal, the vice principal, and every teacher you have. Also tell the teachers you pass in the hall. That is part of their jobs to keep you safe. Tell them in a nice way to stop. Bullies sometimes hurt others cause they themselves are hurting and a few kind words sometimes changes things for the better. Words are powerful and the tone you use along with your voice and body stance can mean so many different things. There are how to handle bullies sites all over the web just type it in and there is even a few youtube videos. On top of this gather your friends and take a few self defense courses. Look for them in your area. Some are free though community and police programs others you must pay for but the ones you pay for usually are more in depth. On the flip side if all it is is some books on the ground they just might like you and don't know how to open lines of communication( i say this because i went to school with a few guys who did stuff like this and many years later they told me that they had a crush on me and they were sorry for making me feel bad. They just wanted to get a rise out of me to open the floor for conversation. I would ignore them and walk the other way.) I use to think if they liked me why couldn't they just be nice. I once was told boys TEASE you so you know they like you. What one person calls teasing others call being a big bully. People can be mean. Its all in how you deal with it. I suggest finding and taking classes on bullies and bring it up with you school board. You may be young but your smart too and you have a voice and you NEED to use it! If you don't speak up nothing will change. Change begins with you. Talk with others you will find your not the only one and banning together is important. It is also important to treat others as you want to be treated. As the saying goes"you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."
Good Luck, Hope this helps.
People who bully are cowards. They usually have problems with themselves problems at home, insecurities of themselves also they are immature. I saw a White board animation and it gave some very good illustrations and answers how to "Beat a Bully Without Using Your Fists."
Please go to www.jw.org click on publications then click on videos, click on children and scroll to the White board Animation and watch the video.
Try these suggestions. It works for many children that have to put up with these type of people. Don't forget tell your parents do not be intimated, tell a grown up you know. I am also happy you have reached out to "Questions".
Also on that website you can go to books and select the book questions "Young People Ask, Answers That Work." volume 1 & 2. All downloads and publications are free.
I don't know why people bully you, but stand up for yourself. Next time they do that talk back instead of staying quiet. It's not like they can really hit you, that'd be physical abuse and you can sue them if they do. And maybe you can ask your friends to back you up next time, if they're your real friends they would back you up and fight back. If this keeps happening or if it gets worse tell your teacher or counselor. I know it seems really weird and embarrassing but it does help.
You face a difficult challenge—that of maintaining balance under pressure. A bully is a coward, insecure person or persons, taking out his or her pain on you just because he or she can. He or she is trying to get back his or her power lost because of circumstances in his personal life, of being in some way bullied. Believe me you are not the only one the bully tried to bully before they got to you. Do not take it personal it just happen to be you.
When someone bullies you, he is probably eager to throw you off balance emotionally. He is hoping that you will resort to extremes of anger or show terror. If you fly into a fit of rage or burst into tears and express hurt or fear, the bully is getting what he wants. So he may try to provoke the same reaction again and again.
What you can do. Consider the following suggestions. They are written primarily with the young in mind, but the principles may also apply to adults dealing with bullies.
▪ Keep cool. Don’t give in to rage. The Bible wisely advises: “Let anger alone and leave rage.” (Psalm 37:8) When your temper is out of control, you give the bully power over you, and you are likely to do things you will only regret.—Proverbs 25:28.
▪ Try to put thoughts of revenge out of your mind. Vengeance often backfires. At any rate, revenge is not really satisfying. One girl, who was beaten up by five youths when she was 16 years old, recalls: “I decided in my heart, ‘I will get even with them.’ So I got some help from my friends and took revenge on two of my attackers.” The result? “I was left with an empty feeling,” she says. And her own conduct worsened afterward. Remember the Bible’s wise words: “Return evil for evil to no one.”—Romans 12:17.
▪ When things appear to be getting heated, get away quickly. The Bible says: “Before the quarrel has burst forth, take your leave.” (Proverbs 17:14) In general, try to steer clear of those who tend to bully. Says Proverbs 22:3: “Shrewd is the one that has seen the calamity and proceeds to conceal himself, but the inexperienced have passed along and must suffer the penalty.”
▪ If bullying persists, you may need to speak up for yourself. Choose a moment when you are calm, look the bully in the eye, and speak in a firm, level voice. Tell him that you don’t like what he is doing—that it is not funny and that it hurts. Do not resort to insults or challenges.—Proverbs 15:1.
▪ Talk to a responsible, caring adult about the bullying. Be specific about the problem, and ask for help in handling it. Do the same in your prayers to God, and this can be a wonderful source of help and comfort.—1 Thessalonians 5:17.
▪ Remember that you have value as a person. The bully might want you to think that you don’t matter, that you deserve to be treated badly. But he is not your judge. God is, and he looks for the good in each of us. It is the bully who becomes less worthwhile by resorting to such conduct.
For more information on this subject and others, please go to www.jw.org. Click on videos. Select the video "How To Beat A Bully Without Using Your Fist." Following the above and suggestion in the video works. Also go to the website mentioned go to "Online Library" type in "bullies" in the search box. So you can understand more about bullies.
Some bullies want to provoke you just to see how you’ll react. But the Bible gives this wise advice. You need to think of 3 things when dealing with bullies.
First Use mildness. The Bible says: “An answer, when mild, turns away rage.” (Proverbs 15:1) Mildness is a sign of strength. The mild person isn’t easily thrown off balance, while the bully is often insecure, frustrated, or even desperate. For good reason, the Bible states: “He that is slow to anger is better than a mighty man.”—Proverbs 16:32.
Protect yourself. If a situation seems out of control, you may need to find an ‘escape route.’ Proverbs 17:14 says: “Before the quarrel has burst forth, take your leave.” So if violence appears imminent, walk or run away. If escape is impossible, you may need to ward off violence the best way you can.
Report it. Your parents have a right to know about what’s happening. They can also give you practical advice. For example, they might suggest that you speak to a school official, such as a guidance counselor, about the matter. Be assured that parents and school officials can handle the matter discreetly, so as not to get you into further trouble.
The bottom line? A bully can’t win if you refuse to play his game. So don’t get sucked into the flames of his anger. Instead, take control of the situation by employing the foregoing suggestions.
I hope these help and please go to jw.org and look at the book Young People Ask.
you will find many topics that will helpful.
Italian
I was bullied in high school and I was one of the most popular kids at my school in any grade. It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like. Bullies usually have a deep seeded issue that has nothing to do with you. What you can do is feel bad for the person that has to pick on you to make him/herself feel better. Don't take it personally because you'll be done with school and off to better things before you know it. Just remember you won't have to see this person ever again after that. I straight up ignored my bullies even when they tried to pick fights with me after school. Btw I graduated in 2011 so this wasn't too long ago.
Dear Enna, I'm sorry to hear you're being bullied. First, you should know that you are not less than anyone else, and it is not right for people to treat you that way. You are also not alone in being bullied. My guess is that these guys have problems of their own and want to take it out on others. But, again, this is not right. Second, you should stand up for yourself. This doesn't mean that you should bully them back. Body language is powerful. Standing tall and confidently, even when you don't feel confident, makes you look harder to pick on. Also, I'm wondering about these friends of yours. Do they go along with the bullies? Do they laugh? If so, they are not your friends. Friends stick up for each other. Third, it would be wise to let authorities know. Tell a trusted teacher, a hall monitor, the principle, or maybe even an older student. If someone in charge knew, they could look out for you. I hope this helps (feel free to let me know!). Always remember: you have worth and value.
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