I fell in love with this girl and i knew that she was committed. Initially i felt i didnt had feeling for her so strong but then when we got to know each other well i found out that even though she was in livin relationship and had a good relation with her boyfriend in her past she was somewhat not happy. in clear words she told me that she was not comfortable with his as much as she was with me and our other common friends. She had daily fights with him and he didnt treated her well. She asked me should she breakup. I gave her advice not to takes things in hurry and she should not let her relation spoil and should give it a time and adjust. When i personally met with her BF i found out that he did took care of her but he was intolerable and he was short tempered and rude. He shouted on her in front of me more than once. Now she started staying with me most of the time.She told me that she considers and bothers about him as least important person in her life . She didnt wanted me to leave her alone whenever i wanted to go out for some work. But still we were friends and she still lived her bf.They had told their parents about each other By this time i fell in love with her like anything but still didn't want to hurt hers as well her bfs feeling so kept it with me. Then at one time i felt that now she is spending more time with me and i am somewhat coming in their relation ship i could not bear it more and told her that i love her. she said I am a nice guy and better one to live with but she cant leave someone just because she got someone better and i am friendzoned. Since then she didnt hung up with me barely talk with me, its like she doesnt cares whatever happens to me .She want to me leave her its good for both of us. Still by her actions talks and habbits i feel that there is some feeling left for me but now as what i see she is happy with her bf and sorted things out. What should i do. I tried forgetting her ignoring her and doing whatever i can do but still i cannot get her out of me. I cant see her suffering and anything happening bad with her at the same time i know that i am hurting myself if i remain like this for sometime i will get mad.
Responses (3)
If she says she doesn't love you then that is it and there is not a thing you can do about it. Perhaps you can be friends but that is as far as you can go at the moment. Perhaps things may change in the future. If you don't drop the issue you risk losing her as a friend.
The previous commenter is mostly correct. If you really do love her, you need to back off romantically. If you cannot see her as a friend and respect her decision to not enter into a romantic relationship, leave. She does not need any more confusion or complication in her life right now. If she leaves this fellow for you, you will have a short and unpleasant relationship. Trust me, I've been that girl. However, not all hope is lost. Most importantly, shove ANY thoughts of romance out of your head. She cannot cope with them right now. It appears that she is in an abusive relationship. If it is not physically abusive, it soon will be so. When someone does not respect another as a human being they start with words, then shouts, then pushes, punches and eventually ends in either the abused leaving the abuser, or the abuser killing his victim. She needs out. Be her friend, remember she owes you NOTHING, expecting repayment for friendship in romance or sexual favors is the best way to end a friendship. If you love her, help her. I have been in a emotionally abusive relationship and my now fiance got me out. He was a good friend. He never once pushed the idea of sex or kissing. He treated me with respect and convinced me that all that relationship had in store for me was pain. The small moments of happiness were not worth it. He helped me move into my own apartment. When I got uncomfortable and didn't talk to him for a month, he was torn up, but chose not to harass me, which would have driven me right back into my ex's arms. Eventually his respect for me and ability to not attempt to force his feelings on me won me, despite my intentionally not even feeling attracted to him. Never push, it is the surest way to drive a woman away.
I would follow your advice. I will get rid of any romantic relationship from my mind. I have never pushed nor i will in future in any manner emotionally or physically, i respect her own decisions and feelings. I only want to see her happy with me or without me. Only thing which hurts right now when i see her in pain/difficulty and cannot do anything that her bf should have done.